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What to do...
15 years ago
Nuts…. Just down right nuts to everything. So far in the great big world I am feeling lost and depress. Right now this is the lowest I have been in my life. I wonder, what all did I do wrong to bring me to this situation? Lack of confidence in myself in performing task, lack of motivation to dictate my time usefully or is it karma coming back at me from my past deeds.
To sum up why I am feeling like this, I cant seem to find a steady job to make ends meet and get my life on track. I have no close friends I can call up and feel a strong connection with. I feel like all the guidance I have been given to me has ended me in the wrong place. Crap.. Bad thoughts are crossing my mind and I don’t know what to do.
Last time I felt like this was on my 27 birthday, I ranting how I didn’t like where I was in my life. I feel like I am going there again the way things are going. Most of my feelings are related to the guidance I get from my father. Sometimes I feel like his advice turns into direct orders.
This time last year I was working a job as a school photographer. The hours suck, the travel sucks and the pay stunk. I but I was getting experience and was still looking for a job. Due to my hours getting cut during the workweek my father advise me to quit.
Flash forward to what’s happening now., the past few months I been going to interviews and getting a lot of rejection letters. Some are on the maybe but I don’t think its going to be a yes. So I got a part time job this summer working as a prostate artist, so it will allow me to brush up on my draftsmen skills and make money. I know my art needs to be better and I thought working in an environment like this would allow me to improve. The pay wage is minim wage or what you make on commission.
When my Father and Step mom found out about how much it was paying. They flipped out and started on this rant how I am behind the eight ball and not going to make it out there. Real helpful parents, every time I get close to something that is a stead job with some set back, but a job non the less. They tell me to drop it an try to get a job at Wal-Mart.
God knows I have tried those jobs.. But what in the wild world of sports do they see in my resume that they will not hire me. I just want a simple job to start my life and when I get close to a job that I can some-what do, experience and training hold me back.
I need to find something soon, my car broke down on my two times in a week. I am having screw ups at my freelancing job that my question my position working there. This bills are coming in fast and these jobs I have are not going to fit the bill unless I ask for more money.
To sum up why I am feeling like this, I cant seem to find a steady job to make ends meet and get my life on track. I have no close friends I can call up and feel a strong connection with. I feel like all the guidance I have been given to me has ended me in the wrong place. Crap.. Bad thoughts are crossing my mind and I don’t know what to do.
Last time I felt like this was on my 27 birthday, I ranting how I didn’t like where I was in my life. I feel like I am going there again the way things are going. Most of my feelings are related to the guidance I get from my father. Sometimes I feel like his advice turns into direct orders.
This time last year I was working a job as a school photographer. The hours suck, the travel sucks and the pay stunk. I but I was getting experience and was still looking for a job. Due to my hours getting cut during the workweek my father advise me to quit.
Flash forward to what’s happening now., the past few months I been going to interviews and getting a lot of rejection letters. Some are on the maybe but I don’t think its going to be a yes. So I got a part time job this summer working as a prostate artist, so it will allow me to brush up on my draftsmen skills and make money. I know my art needs to be better and I thought working in an environment like this would allow me to improve. The pay wage is minim wage or what you make on commission.
When my Father and Step mom found out about how much it was paying. They flipped out and started on this rant how I am behind the eight ball and not going to make it out there. Real helpful parents, every time I get close to something that is a stead job with some set back, but a job non the less. They tell me to drop it an try to get a job at Wal-Mart.
God knows I have tried those jobs.. But what in the wild world of sports do they see in my resume that they will not hire me. I just want a simple job to start my life and when I get close to a job that I can some-what do, experience and training hold me back.
I need to find something soon, my car broke down on my two times in a week. I am having screw ups at my freelancing job that my question my position working there. This bills are coming in fast and these jobs I have are not going to fit the bill unless I ask for more money.
but with all the hardship and difficulties trying to do this makes for me a lot of good has come out of it its given me a new sense of direction and such
this is what you need to find take a step back dont quit the work you are doing right now just try to detach yourself from it in order to see what it is you want out of it and where you want to go in life and what you have to do to get there. it isnt easy but it does help
BTW are you going to be at FA United?
no unfortunately not gotta save for AC right now ><