dude. i watched you cuz of your story, but your more then that now to me! i totally agree with you. i didn't have internet growing, but it was around. i didn't put any thought what so ever on my sexuality till i was 16, when i said to myself "am i gay?" and i said "yes" o3o *cute dance* it was super easy for me to know for some reason, making me feel like its natural. even i know it is natural, like knowing your gay was natural to me, like being straight, you don't put thought into it you just know. your struggle is encouraging to me! in this world i did say to myself a year ago to this vary day still. pretending not to be gay is easier then being accepted. but you know what, im coming out more often now! >=3 thanks! fighting is winning!

not that im saying no one knows, i have a boyfriend

Your points are, well, pointed.

5 years ago, nearly, I moved out of my parent's house because they (mom, actually) could not take the fact that I was bi and having sex with guys.

5 days ago I finally introduced Sprocket to them.

5 years ago gay marriage was actually legal, as well. It's often not just the legislation and the rules, but people's attitudes that need to change and the examples need to very personal indeed, sometimes, for that to happen.

When the issue finally came up with my parents I got yelled at for having sex 'in their house' to which I vehemently (and with some justification; I know my sister and her boyfriend had had some fun) retorted "Would it have been different if it were a woman?!"

"Yes...No!"

It was one of the few times I could legitimately cow my mother into defeat without another word.

The argument ended there very abruptly but I think it's going to be a few years yet before the dust finally settles.

In the mean time, while I don't go to pride myself, I understand why it's there and the history behind it. I just don't like parades or flashy displays (I think I have an allergy to banners and loud music). I don't hide myself per-se but I find that my sexuality doesn't govern how I express myself in every-day life, perhaps simply because of how adaptable it is. And yes, I did read his journal and yes I actually found it rather offensive myself; his entire attitude is ridiculously cavalier.

Sexuality is something close to everyone's hearts no matter thier viewpoint. Gay, straight, closeted, open, rightous or whatever, unless there's eunach's out there, sexulity affects pretty much all of us.

After eading what Kanic put, 'this isn't meant to create drama' is like saying 'i don't want to offend you, but....' and then throwing an insult. I got fed up reading most of what he put in response to others' comments as it seemed that he just wanted to rant about how gays are represented and was in an argumentative mood.

My personal experience is that of personal grief of denying myself my sexuality for fear of what the realisation would bring, brought about by bullying at school naturally. I made the same decision as as Silverboy describes, and that was a reall wonderful day, when I was 26, so rather a late bloomer compared to some.

I have pride in my sexuality, of who and what I am for many reasons, and after learning about how I am able to freely be that person, it's down to those who went before us blazing that trail we have to thank, be they pink and fluffy or not and they need to be recognised and celebrated.

Yes. Which is why I finished with my "with all due respect".

Whenever someone says "with all due respect", what they really mean is "Jane, you ignorant slut." :)

*seconds* I'm "proud" of the struggle that all the leather daddies, leather queens, village people, and just normal people that came before me.

I was pretty ignorant of my "heritage" until I watched Milk and saw the struggle that happened 30-40 years ago. I think celebrating what you are and where you came from is appropriate.

Calling the event "Pride" might not what the event is, but I personally like the term celebration. Celebrating who we are, where we're going, and where we've been.

i think the overall point he was trying to make was missed. people got flustered without attempting to understand the message that was being conveyed. i personally do not like the declaration of a month to a certain group. yes, i understand the struggle and sacrifice that others went through before me. but i do not agree with how the current generation is handling the liberties gained by those brave homosexuals that put their lives on the line against injustice.

the attitudes presented by these pride events are more like driving a wedge between different groups of people instead of bringing them together. that kind of gap can survive for generations and in itself be a barrier to progress.

my post on his journal was:
making this month into a "pride" month is a sham. just like black history month, its all a sham. all it does is continue to separate the gap between people. all LoLbama was trying to do when he made the declaration was to ensure votes from the homos. such a pathetic attempt to win me over from a president that is a joke.

Oh god I just saw this journal, and that bigot's following a badge upload to your account. I went, I read, I wanted to vomit. Comments like "Haha well in my opinion, the fact that gays got a President that is doing something...slowly...should be enough. At this point, they're not being grateful for what they got :P". Make me want to HIT PEOPLE. Especially considering he went off on "TRANNIES" which is, as most lbgt folk now know, a DEROGATORY TERM. Not just that, but apparantly if you have trouble telling what gender a person is, it's that PERSON'S problem, and not your own.

I am afraid sometimes, to be who I am. I am afraid to be queer, to be transgendered. I can't up and decide to leave that part of me behind, because I have no choice in the matter. Things like pride allow me to feel safe and happy in who I am. When straight people act like it's LOL JUST LIEK HAVING STRAIGHT PRIDE, all I can think is "and would you be okay with a White power parade?" This is about an oppressed people standing up and saying "like us or not, we're here and we're proud and you can't get us down just because you disagree with the way we live and love".

I'd like to respond to this with my most sincere gratitude. I cannot and could not be the person I am today without the efforts and courage of you, and many many others like you. For both good and Ill.

You have valid points, i wish to make that perfectly, clear. I feel tremendous amounts of guilt for actually having an easy time coming out to my parents. However, The post which set you on edge is a viewpoint that is also right, but it's ahead of its time.
We're in a bit of an interesting transitional period, wherein the acts from your generation and generations previous were about forcing the hetero-normative power structure to admit you existed. The problem now stems from the line of reasoning that the community is advocating "gay people are no different from anyone else." which is where Kanic's position steps in.

If LBGT people are just like everyone else, we should do all in our power to demonstrate that. Pride is not conducive to this. Pride is about flaunting everything you are, and making sure that nobody can deny your existence. As exemplified by the chant I'm sure you're familiar with; "we're here, we're queer, and we're not going to disappear." believe you me, Nobody thinks we are. We've got a fag in every sitcom, and at least two television networks devoted to us. We have TV shows, and websites and music stars, movies, literature and art. People know LBGT folk are here to stay.

So the problem with pride is that it's using a strategem for a battle that has already been won. The battle for acknowledgement.
The new line of our disenfranchisers is that LBGT individuals are all debauched, attention whoring, catty, hypersexed nutjobs. Things which particular individuals or groups of individuals actively demonstrate in events that are national in scope. And because the event is a cavalcade, it is VERY easy to seize on certain aspects of it.

It's very difficult to tell the masses "we're no different than like you" when they're shown images of people that you associate yourself with willingly parading down the street in undies and body glitter, sucking on dick shaped lollipops while riding a float with 20 drag queens. So even if you personally don't engage in such behavior, no matter what, you're lumped in with them.

And this is the problem. at pride, one is flaunting one's identity, you are challenging others to respond. And when they do, it's never kind, and never equitable. Partly because, yes, the heteronormative powers that be are not quite getting that we're still people, whether through ignorance or malice. But also partly because we chose to throw down the sparkly gauntlet on the table in a show of faaaaaaabulous.

What kanic speaks of is exactly what all LBGT people should want. A world where being gay is accepted completely and wholly, rendering the need for a pride parade obsolete.

Don't grow mad at Kanic, what he speaks of is the evolution of the movement you and others like you fostered, if not started.
its as I said earlier, it's a little ahead of its time. That simple thinking of "gay people are just like everyone else" didn't save Alan Turing. We needed a loud, angry show of force. And you gave it to them, by God.
But it is done now. The schoolyard fight has ended, the dust is settling, now we must shake hands, and as our detractors will slowly make an effort to accept who we are, we should endeavor to try not to alienate them quite so fiercely.

This is everything that is wrong with pride, and the single largest reason I ever feel shame in admitting to be gay.

(I'm only lucky that feeling has been mitigated over the past few years, with college friends treating me no differently than anyone else.)