I'm still hanging in there, but I am having a harder time than ever for some reason. I want to reach out artistically but I cannot find my outlet. I am stuck in shambles and feel as if I have lost alot more than I ever could have imagined. Often do I find myself bored and feeling alone, I know that is not true though I have so many great friends out there reaching out to me. Really I just want my health back, I have run into so many issues the past few weeks and I wonder if I will ever catch a break again in my life. I wish that I could go out and do more things and hang out with friends more often, it helps take my mind off of this some. My quality of life is much less, but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate or find happiness in life, and in fact I see it everywhere and so much of it that at times it's overwhelming for me and I get sad. I just want to be me again and feel like I used to feel, I don't know if that is ever going to happen or not, but I really do hope so.

I sometimes still cannot believe it I open my eyes and think that everything is okay, but then I try and get up and realize that it was all just a dream.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ufn_pUVzZBg