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Update for the lil sissy bear #3
15 years ago
Hello everyone
Well I guess it's time for another update.
I will start with the good news. First last tuesday I got invited to play in the Georgia Pro-Am Tour event. I am trying to earn a full spot on tour and win some money. I did pretty well on tuesday. I did not do as well as I wanted to, but I did finish inside the top half of the field and got invited to the next event. It was a lot different from what I am use to playing. Hopefully with some more high place finishes I will get a full spot on the tour, and if I accept any money I become a professional golfer. Which is why you see a lot of pics with my fursona having to do something with golf. Golf is so important to me that it has worked its way to every part of my being, possibly a future career.
Now with the bad :/
The whole preacher thing is not going very well. I am trying to what he has to say to heart. I still believe I am not wrong with what I feel about Cody. I still love him and my love grows with everyday we are apart. I cannot wait to get back to him. He told me that I needed to listen to the whisper in my head, and ignore the screams. This has sent me on downward spiral. I have turned a lot of hatred inward. I look to friends for advice about my situation. All they can give me is what they would do in situation but they don't understand what I come from. The ones who have problems with their parents don't understand the deep relationship I have with them, and the ones who do have a good relationship with their parents are confused about how I can fight with them. It seems like no one understands where I come from and I spend most nights sitting outside looking at the stars talking with myself and my god.
Well I guess it's time for another update.
I will start with the good news. First last tuesday I got invited to play in the Georgia Pro-Am Tour event. I am trying to earn a full spot on tour and win some money. I did pretty well on tuesday. I did not do as well as I wanted to, but I did finish inside the top half of the field and got invited to the next event. It was a lot different from what I am use to playing. Hopefully with some more high place finishes I will get a full spot on the tour, and if I accept any money I become a professional golfer. Which is why you see a lot of pics with my fursona having to do something with golf. Golf is so important to me that it has worked its way to every part of my being, possibly a future career.
Now with the bad :/
The whole preacher thing is not going very well. I am trying to what he has to say to heart. I still believe I am not wrong with what I feel about Cody. I still love him and my love grows with everyday we are apart. I cannot wait to get back to him. He told me that I needed to listen to the whisper in my head, and ignore the screams. This has sent me on downward spiral. I have turned a lot of hatred inward. I look to friends for advice about my situation. All they can give me is what they would do in situation but they don't understand what I come from. The ones who have problems with their parents don't understand the deep relationship I have with them, and the ones who do have a good relationship with their parents are confused about how I can fight with them. It seems like no one understands where I come from and I spend most nights sitting outside looking at the stars talking with myself and my god.
I spend each and every second trying to comprehend what you're going through honeybear. Just keep on being strong honeybear. Please don't turn the hatred inward, there is no reason why you should feel this way. We all see the world differently and that is nobody's fault.
I love you so much KaGe, more and more as we pass through these hard few months. My family says hi and they all hope things get better for you, and they are very proud of you.
just know that ur "little shorty" is praying for you every night.
Love you so much honeybear *hugs super tight and licks*
As for u and ur parents, to deny who you are will lead to further problems. I do know what it means to have a close relationship with ur parents. I still care about my mine even my mom when she really pisses me and dad off. I have to cool off before i think positive thoughts. Neither have an issue with me being a babyfur, but mom has issues with gays. Not a religious going to hell thing, but just not right sort of thing, and kinda fears i'm leaning the gay route. Dad's view is more of to each their own, and would at least hope i adopt a son it seems. But really in the end, its not their decision on who I am, or want to be with. I may want to please them, but I'll do that with how ethically and morally i live my life. Right now, I'm madly in love with Kevian, and he makes me happy, which is whats important to me. But i do hope someday we can have a kid without adopting.
Now for the good... Yay! Way to go with the golfing! I am so happy for you. I sincerely hope it works out well for you, and you get that full spot.
Until next time, I will keep you and Cody, and your parents, in my prayers. *hugs*
You know me n Tavi are always here to talk when and if you can, and so is Cody of course. I think in the case of your parents, they are just buying into the religious hype and negative things about gays and such. Sometimes there's just no good way to sway someone's opinion on that. For some reason I think their claim to disown you is an empty threat, but then I'm not there and don't know them personally. Just tread lightly and keep your guard up.
As far as the church goes...you must be at the wrong church. Many of the churches have accepted that when the bible was written it was written in the language of the times. The literal meanings behind words from it are skewed in todays society and mean far different things than they did then. Even the protestants made one of their openly gay clergy a bishop for heavens sake. There are even some very good documentaries out there about this whole thing, where many have come to realize that the most important thing is to love their kids no matter what and what they are doing is just who they are. http://www.amazon.com/Bible-Tells-M...../dp/B000YHQNCI This was a very good one. Cant say Ive been in your shoes but maybe try to educate them on the rest of the worlds views. Find the churches that agree with your side and go from there. You gotta be you, and not hold all that anger and hatred in....all that does is make us sick. Good luck to you and Cody, I really do hope you find the strength to be you^^