Heyas all my journal readers.

I want to apologize for lazing off on journals the past few days. Between computer problems, work hecticness, and the general emotion coursing through my at the moment, I've been intentionally pushing myself to the side. It's not really that I don't want to talk about stuff. I actually do want to talk about things. I just have this nagging in the back of my head, and my heart, which tells me that it's better to be optimistic and happy, and if you can't be, you probably shouldn't say too much.

Those of you who know me well know that I'm not the emo type. But, that being said, I think we all have moments in life where emotion overwhelms us. It's inhuman if you don't have those moments. Unfortunately, I've been in one of those moments for a while now, and it's something that I'm trying rather desperately to overcome. I'm not sure how much faith in myself I have to actually do it, though, at this point. It's one of those weird things that I just can't get out of my head.

Anyway, the point of this journal is really to just let everyone know why I've been so quiet recently. I feel like I owe everyone an apology for being so out of it. Syn, you and I still need to get together on that big piece of artwork. I've been so crazy recently that I've not even had a chance to think about it, let alone get to work on the planning stages. I still want to do it though. It's very important to me. Then again, lots of things that are important to me recently haven't gone so well, so...haha. Maybe we should wait. I dunno. We'll talk.

I also wanted to take the opportunity to say how much I love my friends. The people who are there for me. I am usually the one people rely on when they're feeling down. But, I tell you what...some of the folks in my life recently have been downright amazing. Stormfront...you crazy biotch...you make me laugh even when I don't want to. And Jonas. And my Ricky...*sighs thoughtfully*...and Matt. And of course there's Tau, and my beloved sister Merlot. I love you both as well. *nuzzles*. So many people with whom the connection is deeper than grief, than anguish, than heartache, than pain. Sometimes I think I'm not nearly thankful enough for what I have. Maybe I'm not. I don't think any of us really appreciates what we have in life. Not nearly as much as we should, anyway.

And always, of course, there's Joey. My best friend....*stares off longingly*. My best friend.... *sighs and just wanders off to check out Shayla's new house*