That happens to me, to be perfectly honest. I get nervous talking to other people who's artwork I really like, but it only seems to happen online though. No idea why, probably wont either.

I'm usually a chatty bastard in person XD;

Hrmm...

After seeing more than few people prowling for free art and little else, I did become anxious about talking to artists. Luckily I had the sense to notice artists aren't horribly jaded after talking with some nice ones.

Now I just worry about wasting their time. :P

I feel this is true, too. D: Kinda afraid of bothering artists with my nonsense. Also, moat popular artists have quite the IM load, so I know I'll probably get pushed to the background. I have spoken to a few artists I respect and admire and have made friends in them (like you, dawnk!), but still can't shake the feeling of being intrusive.

I find myself alienating people often, including people I used to be friends with... I don't mean to be a bitch or anything, I'm just not a social person in general. :s Social situations scare me 'cause I have a stupid fear of rejection. No trying with people means no rejection, and no rejection means no heartbreak. Blah blah blah, heh.

I think I understand, I get the same way sometimes, feeling intimidated by certain artists.

Not being the visual art type I can't say I've really noticed it. I have noticed the tendency for artists to push people back, at least on line.

Writers, of which I am one tend to cluster. We do talk to each other, exchange ideas, snippets of writing and so forth.

I fear rejection.

But I am really nice, if you aren't fucking stupid. C:

*stand next to Sarcy, wearing a shirt saying "I'm with stupid --->"

*places a mirror betwixt her and Hozz*

*gawks at the portrait of handsomeness before him*

I've had this problem before. I'd love to talk to more folks but I'm afraid they're thinking I'm only after art, or they make themselves very unapproachable, I guess.

I've wanted to say hi to you sometime because other donkeys are awesome, but eh. :P

I don't typically share my screen name, or list forums that I visit. I'm just a fairly private person, and figure if someone does want to chat with me that they'll ask for my information in a note or some such and then I can decide if I want to give it to them. However, the only person that's ever asked for my info that I knew only through FA was a commissioner... and he was sending me notes every hour asking how the progress on their piece was going despite being at the bottom of the list and being told I wouldn't work on it for a couple of days.

So I guess, for me anyway, I worry that if I put my information out there the only people who WOULD contact me are those who only wanted to do so for entirely selfish reasons and not so much because they actually want to get to know me.

BTW, thanks for the fav on the cookies. They rock, yes?

I think there are times people do not want to be a bother to busy artists, and artists don't want to be bothered by certain fanboys. There can be that bit of distance at times.

Then again, if the artist remains open, that usually goes away. I've known a lot of artisty folks, and enjoy their friendship, sometime on a close level. Sometimes on a more relaxed level.. like says, you and me. We're not help-each-other-move sort of friends, but there's a level of "Yeah I know 'em, good person" and comfy conversation when it occurs. S'all good. I'd probably have nothing to blather to you about on AIM or furryMUCK anyway. :)

Don;t worry too much about it. In life you will grow closer to some people and further from others; it is a natural progression. Draw your art. Pursue the best relationships, one where you give and get to mutual benefit. :)

Wow, I'd love to comment on all of what you wrote but that would be way to much, so I'll limit myself to one thing that might be of interest:

As someone in the "fan" camp I always try to not be a pest. When I consider approaching artists this is where I'm coming from. It can make me prone to feeling a little anxious to start with. Also, to me at least, weather intentional or not, you have created an image that can be a wee bit intimidating. More on that in a bit. Anyway, communicating primarily through text, and to groups as well as individuals, can lead to a one-dimensional representation of a person. Because of this, among furs I think I may have developed an image of being almost some sort of wuss. (It's funny because for other reasons, years ago, among my barfly cohorts I was thought of as a bad-ass. Neither image is accurate.)

The reason I was a bit abashed by you is because I was constructing someone out of scraps of text, etc., that included a few benign comments or jokes simply showing off your cynical side. Also, as a popular artist you were perceived as being under less pressure to be nice if you weren't nice by nature. Otherwise you were basically an unknown entity. Of course this is ALL completely absurd, but people are wired to put what they have together and fill in the blanks, and are often not aware when the picture they have is mostly blank. Luckily I was aware of what was going on in my head and was able to reserve judgement.

"I'm trying to get my thoughts gathered and using journals to do it."

Doing that in the way you're doing here, which encourages dialogue, is a good way to more fully round out your persona. It can help foster a good comfort level.

I'd better leave it at that for now.

I've asked quite a few artists for screen names, got them, and never heard from them again, so you aren't alone there :) Personally I'm not afraid to talk to ya, its that I don't think I'd have anything interesting to tell you lol, hence why I haven't bothered asking you or any other artist on this site for instant messenger screen names.

Traditionally I think visual artists have been perceived as the secluded types, not wanting to be bothered because they're at work, so people tend to leave them alone, I actually find myself doing that at times to the artists that do chat to me, I'll get something off my mind and tell them "hey I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing." Reminds me of a joke actually "I tried painting a nude once, but it was cold so I put my clothes back on." If I tried visual arts these days I'd probably love to chat to someone while doing so so I wouldn't concentrate so hard on getting it right, just let things be created freely

Well, if you ever want to chat, feel free to drop me a line on aim! SN is Discordinator

I'm pretty chill and lots' of fun! :D

I'm not afraid to talk to you! HI!

Just know I only added you cause your good. and I wanted free art...just so you know. lol

<---fails utterly to use IM programs.

They piss me off. When I'm online, I'm typically doing something specific. IM is like a phone... no, worse. it's like a CB radio. Except the other person KNOWS you're there. Bleah. Email works JUST fine for me to keep in touch with folks... and I don't check it as much as I should. Meh.

The most grevious thing I've done, I think, is to do a bunch of art for people (and they watch me do it), and then for whatever reason forget to upload it. Or extenuating circumstances, blah blah blah.

Sarc, I understand the twang of guilt you might have over this, but take it from a person that has witnessed some pretty black hearted folks capitalize on artists before. The practice exists for a reason D:. A lot of people that contact artists just do so to try and haggle free art out of them by being their friends. It's pretty disgusting.

Me, I'm a roleplayer type person thing. Most of the people on my IM lists were put there in an 'organic' fashion. We liked the cut of each others jib and added each other to correspond at a later date. It's been so long since I've added somebody for other reasons that I even suspect my own motives for adding people just because I like their art. XD

I'm aloof and introverted. I try not to get too involved. But it is difficult to feel involved when people simply take things for granted. Like when two artists agree to do an art trade, and then only one of them produces art, and the other does not. Especially if it was someone you looked up to.

I very much appreciate an email or note, and happily respond to either.
I rarely ever IM. Largely because I don't have internets at home, so when I do get online I don't usually have time for IMs.

Other reasons:

- I don't have the time or the patience to draw conversation out of some random furry who contacted me but expects me to shoulder the brunt of the exchange. Someone IM'ing a "Hi" to me does not make me responsible for finding a topic & otherwise keeping them entertained.

- Those who want to 'commission' free art are irritating as hell. Whenever someone drools & slobbers over me & how much they adore my art etc etc without saying anything specific, I know they're going to be asking for free art, and they want it now.

- Random requests for yiff/cyber/tiny sex/whatever. Look--I don't help those who are too lazy to masturbate by themselves, mmmkay?

- I have a low tolerance for netspeak

- I have a low tolerance for people who bomb me with random incomplete phrases & are impatient while I respond using sentences.

- Frankly, if it's not important enough to first go to the trouble of sending me an e-mail (or a note via FurAffinity), then it's probably not all that important.

Longer rant here.

I'm not the best conversationalist, but I do know what you mean. I usually wait for some sort of connection to have been made before I go im-ing anyone. Like I met thois person at a con, so I want to keep in touch. Or I comment on an artist's work and the replies become interesting, ya know? So anyway, nice talkin with ya ma'am. Take it easy and be well! ^^