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I've had enough
15 years ago
I dunno why I'm posting this here, but I feel I need to vent a little. Things aren't going so well at the moment, and I'm starting to feel it pile up. I thought I was doing okay, handling everything with the biggest smile I could manage. And I've had some serious help along the way, if it weren't for my friends I'd be in some serious trouble right now.
But, despite their help...I'm still being dragged down by things I thought I left behind me when I left my mom's house. But it appears, that she's not quite done making me feel like an asshole yet. Last night, she came and dropped my 1 week old kittens on my doorstep. We argued about it for hours, I was trying to explain to her that moving such young kittens could so easily kill them. But she told me she didn't care, she just wanted them gone. Even though she was the one that told me she wanted to keep them. We argued about more things, she told me how manipulative I am, and how I always hurt her. How that I only care about myself, when it was her that told me I should start focusing on myself and better myself.
I finally had enough, snapped...and told her I had enough of her mental bullshit, tired of never knowing when she's gonna go off the deep end. I told her to stay the hell away from me, to never talk to me, to just leave me alone.
I love my mom, but right now...I cannot stand to even think of her. The anger is too much for me to handle, I'm no longer an angry person. I left that side of me behind a long time ago, right along with my depression. And I refuse to let her selfish need to start drama and blame everyone else for her problems, to drag me back down to those places. I'm stronger than that, and if I have to do this on my own than god damn it so be it. I refuse to give up my happiness again.
But, despite their help...I'm still being dragged down by things I thought I left behind me when I left my mom's house. But it appears, that she's not quite done making me feel like an asshole yet. Last night, she came and dropped my 1 week old kittens on my doorstep. We argued about it for hours, I was trying to explain to her that moving such young kittens could so easily kill them. But she told me she didn't care, she just wanted them gone. Even though she was the one that told me she wanted to keep them. We argued about more things, she told me how manipulative I am, and how I always hurt her. How that I only care about myself, when it was her that told me I should start focusing on myself and better myself.
I finally had enough, snapped...and told her I had enough of her mental bullshit, tired of never knowing when she's gonna go off the deep end. I told her to stay the hell away from me, to never talk to me, to just leave me alone.
I love my mom, but right now...I cannot stand to even think of her. The anger is too much for me to handle, I'm no longer an angry person. I left that side of me behind a long time ago, right along with my depression. And I refuse to let her selfish need to start drama and blame everyone else for her problems, to drag me back down to those places. I'm stronger than that, and if I have to do this on my own than god damn it so be it. I refuse to give up my happiness again.
