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Ready to be judged
15 years ago
might post this on my tumblr later...
Note: not a rant journal, not a sob juornal.. just a pondering statment juornal i don't need a hug or a tissue... I just wanna say shit.
Art is something I'm good at. you people/fellow aliens/furries know that.... but I am not good at anything but art. I'm good at slacking, being lazy and surfing the web for no apparent reason. I suck at math, and I can do *some* good writing but my grammer, sanity, and sentence structure are far from understandable. AND while I am blessed in the area of creative thoughts for writing, I suck balls when it comes to writing factual good college term papers. I have a fear of drawing naked people and people in general, AND I will never in a million fucking years draw a realistic picture of my human self. Never.
I am going to honor's college at ODU to get a BFA in drawing and design soon and I must prepare for the wave of souless art critiques, the naked models, and those stupid fucked up looks with the tilted comment of "that's.... interesting... and, uh.. different." I've already gotten used to these pricks I run into who upon hearing my goal to become a bizzaro graphic novelist and eventual animator, scoff and say things like "yeah, you and the rest of those arty teens... a career in art is rare and hopeless." yeah Einstein! I know that shit! and it might be really cool and nifty to become a scientist making a ton of money, but I didn't have that choice... when I was born, the universe shoved a crayon in my hand said "HAY! guess what jux? you get to try to have a career in art! that's it! no choice! art is and will be your life FOREVER!" Art is what I do, and I can't do anything else. I am not one of those stupid otaku jokes on DA who say shit like "Getting a job in art is hard but I believe in myself and all you people who say I won't make it can suck a dick when i do! ^^ <3" Nope, I know it's hard, I know I might just crash and burn and never make it... but I gotta try because it's all I can do. Art is everything to me... I just about slapped a hoe when I met my fellow art majors at orientation and one said something along the lines of "yeah, I like art, but it's not my life" WHAT?! you cannot be an art major with that fucking attitude... you'll die.
done rambling... just wanted to say that.
Note: not a rant journal, not a sob juornal.. just a pondering statment juornal i don't need a hug or a tissue... I just wanna say shit.
Art is something I'm good at. you people/fellow aliens/furries know that.... but I am not good at anything but art. I'm good at slacking, being lazy and surfing the web for no apparent reason. I suck at math, and I can do *some* good writing but my grammer, sanity, and sentence structure are far from understandable. AND while I am blessed in the area of creative thoughts for writing, I suck balls when it comes to writing factual good college term papers. I have a fear of drawing naked people and people in general, AND I will never in a million fucking years draw a realistic picture of my human self. Never.
I am going to honor's college at ODU to get a BFA in drawing and design soon and I must prepare for the wave of souless art critiques, the naked models, and those stupid fucked up looks with the tilted comment of "that's.... interesting... and, uh.. different." I've already gotten used to these pricks I run into who upon hearing my goal to become a bizzaro graphic novelist and eventual animator, scoff and say things like "yeah, you and the rest of those arty teens... a career in art is rare and hopeless." yeah Einstein! I know that shit! and it might be really cool and nifty to become a scientist making a ton of money, but I didn't have that choice... when I was born, the universe shoved a crayon in my hand said "HAY! guess what jux? you get to try to have a career in art! that's it! no choice! art is and will be your life FOREVER!" Art is what I do, and I can't do anything else. I am not one of those stupid otaku jokes on DA who say shit like "Getting a job in art is hard but I believe in myself and all you people who say I won't make it can suck a dick when i do! ^^ <3" Nope, I know it's hard, I know I might just crash and burn and never make it... but I gotta try because it's all I can do. Art is everything to me... I just about slapped a hoe when I met my fellow art majors at orientation and one said something along the lines of "yeah, I like art, but it's not my life" WHAT?! you cannot be an art major with that fucking attitude... you'll die.
done rambling... just wanted to say that.
And college-wise, I'm in almost the same boat as you, man. Except with music. Since I didn't do anything musical class related in high school, I'm jumping in at a disadvantage. And the reason I didn't do anything of the sort was because I can not fucking stand classical music, and I have a mild, passing interest in classic rock, at best. But, yeah, classical music is awful. It's inherently pretentious, convoluted, and unpalatable unless you force it upon yourself or others. Shit sucks. And it'll suck worse since that's what music classes are centered around. Fuck a duck.