To a person I hold dearly.
15 years ago
General
I know you are going through a EXTREMELY tough time and I know I can never understand what you are going through. But I want to show you that I do care.
I used to remember how we used to chat all night long. Do you remember? Ah, the things we did.
I would always smile whenever I saw that notification at the bottom of the screen which said you have logged on. We would talk for hours about everything.
When vacation started for you, we talk even more! I loved to talk about you. You... a very beautiful person. We talked about your problems back then, and I tried to help. I felt like a happy old dog. Just wanted to be there to comfort you.
Then, one day I asked you a question. The answer was yes for about two days. Do I hold that against you? Not a chance.
I curse that day though... because after that day, that little notification at the bottom of the screen stopped showing up as much... because I was told "I am busy with school." I had to sit back and watch behind a dirty window.
I still stay up late at night... waiting for that little message "so and so logged on." Force of habit I guess. I get lucky if your on once a week. You have to leave a lot. We never laugh or have fun anymore. I don't know if that was my fault.
The first thing I see that you type is "sigh." It hurts me. Because I know that my friend has not logged on. Its a ghost of that friend. A memory that I try to hold.
~~~~~
I won't say who this person is, if they are male or female, or what problems they had.
I pray to God that this journal doesn't place this person into any deeper turmoil.
And in all the things that "you can never understand"... I feel that I can say the same words to this person for one thing...
"That I love you with all my heart"
I used to remember how we used to chat all night long. Do you remember? Ah, the things we did.
I would always smile whenever I saw that notification at the bottom of the screen which said you have logged on. We would talk for hours about everything.
When vacation started for you, we talk even more! I loved to talk about you. You... a very beautiful person. We talked about your problems back then, and I tried to help. I felt like a happy old dog. Just wanted to be there to comfort you.
Then, one day I asked you a question. The answer was yes for about two days. Do I hold that against you? Not a chance.
I curse that day though... because after that day, that little notification at the bottom of the screen stopped showing up as much... because I was told "I am busy with school." I had to sit back and watch behind a dirty window.
I still stay up late at night... waiting for that little message "so and so logged on." Force of habit I guess. I get lucky if your on once a week. You have to leave a lot. We never laugh or have fun anymore. I don't know if that was my fault.
The first thing I see that you type is "sigh." It hurts me. Because I know that my friend has not logged on. Its a ghost of that friend. A memory that I try to hold.
~~~~~
I won't say who this person is, if they are male or female, or what problems they had.
I pray to God that this journal doesn't place this person into any deeper turmoil.
And in all the things that "you can never understand"... I feel that I can say the same words to this person for one thing...
"That I love you with all my heart"
FA+

Chloe
~<3