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15 years ago
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So like, todays my birthday.. im now a year older, and that much closer to dying.. depressing right? i think so.
I mean, it's probably because im a Leo.. apparently(according to this amazing astrology book that saved me from a past relationship that was destined to fail) if i have a lack of fulfillment, professionally or personally, it can totally destroy me & my personality ): which i find to be ridiculously true!!
Like, what am i doooing with my life!? constantly buying art off the computer that i cant touch or feel, buying little dinky Pandora charms or making guys buy me them, i haven't even finished decorating my room and i've been in this place for like, over a month now!!!
Ya sure i have a good job.. well my nursing one at least, my retail job fails because it is what it is and they expect me to do everything because i know how to and im good at what i do(obviously), but they dont pay me enough to do it so its like WHY!? & my friends are pretty great, getting 50 notifications on FB and like hella texts wishing me happy birthday kinda made me smile...
But idk.. i hate this state, and i hate my face, and i hate not getting and doing everything i wantttttt!!! D:<
im 22 fricken years old, that means im almost at my peak and im almost gonna be like, over 30 Omg!!! i must say im surprised i lasted this long consider i've tried offing myself like several times and i like to flirt with big tough straight guys who could totally kick my ass but dont for some reason.. i mean the ones who i didnt do stuff with... >_>
UGH i dont wanna get wrinkles, i dont wanna have bone problems, and blood issues, and get diabetesssss i like eating sugar 24/7 and not having complicationssssssss FML!!!
Ugh idk, just ranting because im getting old and not young & cute ):
Peter Pan syndrome can SMD ):
I mean, it's probably because im a Leo.. apparently(according to this amazing astrology book that saved me from a past relationship that was destined to fail) if i have a lack of fulfillment, professionally or personally, it can totally destroy me & my personality ): which i find to be ridiculously true!!
Like, what am i doooing with my life!? constantly buying art off the computer that i cant touch or feel, buying little dinky Pandora charms or making guys buy me them, i haven't even finished decorating my room and i've been in this place for like, over a month now!!!
Ya sure i have a good job.. well my nursing one at least, my retail job fails because it is what it is and they expect me to do everything because i know how to and im good at what i do(obviously), but they dont pay me enough to do it so its like WHY!? & my friends are pretty great, getting 50 notifications on FB and like hella texts wishing me happy birthday kinda made me smile...
But idk.. i hate this state, and i hate my face, and i hate not getting and doing everything i wantttttt!!! D:<
im 22 fricken years old, that means im almost at my peak and im almost gonna be like, over 30 Omg!!! i must say im surprised i lasted this long consider i've tried offing myself like several times and i like to flirt with big tough straight guys who could totally kick my ass but dont for some reason.. i mean the ones who i didnt do stuff with... >_>
UGH i dont wanna get wrinkles, i dont wanna have bone problems, and blood issues, and get diabetesssss i like eating sugar 24/7 and not having complicationssssssss FML!!!
Ugh idk, just ranting because im getting old and not young & cute ):
Peter Pan syndrome can SMD ):
well, i would never want to be a baby again or forever, but i dont want to get older than i am now :P
omg it may be a signnnnn!!!♥
It is true we sow the seeds of our own death through our choices, but until then, grab life by the throat and choke the shit out of it. You own it.