have you ever stopped to think about the ups and downs life brings? I used to wish things would always be up and down so that life would be interesting. I got that and couldn't stand the confusion. I wanted things to be clam and in the middle. I got that and things were way too boring. I thought that it would be interesting and less confusing if things went bad, I'd have a story to tell for the rest of my life. when that happened I didn't like how nothing good happened. I hoped that only good things would happen. when that happened I got lazy because I needed no thought. I've learned that wanting things to be one way or another isn't the best thing. I know that what I want has little to do with how my life is going. each thing had a good and bad side to it, even things that people see as good or bad. I don't even know what I want anymore. I know I want something, but I'm unsure what it is. I am happy with where I am, but I don't want to stay where I am in life. I guess I like change and variety. who knows, maybe I have something big ahead of me.