I appraoched my new family (my aunts and uncles who i live with) today... and told them I was gay. Seeing as my aunt is a lesbian..and lives with another awesome chick named Ruth it wasnt as hard as you would think... but I also learned some truthes myself..

Anyone that knows me pretty darn well knows that both my parents died..fairly recently. but im really focusing on my fathers death. I was around about 11 or 12 and it was just this year when my mom died ( I'm 19 now). I was told by my late mother that my dad died in an accident...

But today i learn the real truth...that he actually killed himself...........

also my aunt's former husband ( the women who is now a lesbain) commited suicide also, and in the same way. My father shot himself over this very uncle's grave... One must assume b/c of my uncle's suicide.. it made it more .. able to ... make one's self commit suicide.

There was alot of drama that surrounded my father's unnatural death..which i dont feel like sharing...(I cant believe im sharing even what I have alrdy)

But i cant help but feel cheated....i'm extremely dissapointed in my mother. I think she was trying to protect me, but i deserved to know...she couldnt even tell me before she passed away...

Today most definatly has been the most emotional day in my life..

Coming out + Father's Suicide Life Lie + my mother's death = JESUS FUCKING CHRIST TITS WTF MAN

I really feel like shit...angry, frustrated, betrayed, confused, and scared all at once..

surely..this life on earth is hell...I must get past this