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an update of sorts, mostly not good
15 years ago
I have not been around for a while. I'm sure nobody here really noticed, but its true. I dont know when the last update I gave was so Im just going to go through the past few weeks.
Summer dwindling down, work was burning me out big time. I have had no time for any personal activities or socializing.
onto the real things that have happend, other than not seeing my in-town friends hardly ever or even talking to them for that matter I have not had a chance to speak with my out of town friends from college in a while up until about 2 weeks ago. On my only day off in weeks I was woken up early when my old roommate called me. He told me that a good friend of ours had been killed.
Needless to say I was shocked and absolutely heartsunk. That was a friday and since I am basically the only one of us that still lives in town I was all alone. the best thing I could do was cry, pour a drink and say some words to the memory of my friend that weekend. the next monday I worked like 17 hour day until about 2AM, came home and tried to sleep a bit. I got about 2 hours of sleep before I had to be dressed up and on the road at 6AM out to western north dakota for her funeral on tuesday morning. I made it there and just the sight of the church hit me like a ton of bricks. I pulled in and just sat in my pickup trying to pull myself together. I got together with a friend in the parking lot to say our somber goodmornings, when another good friend of ours pulled into the church. This is a friend of mine who was closer than anybody to Mary and I had been worried about him ever since the accident. I had talked to him every day since but when you see a guy who is a big tough guy with no "pussiness" about him get out of his truck with tears already streaming struggling to say good morning to me as he squeezed me in a big hug, you know that A: he was hurting real bad, and B: Mary meant a lot to him. Her funeral was what I would call boring, but if you knew Mary she would have found it just right. She was a quiet person who rarely did the "over the top" type of thing. she was however without a doubt the most intelligent woman I knew. I mean no offense to other women here, but most of you are crazy. especially those women that iv met with higher than average IQ the craziness tends to go up. Mary was so down to earth. last year she finished her Masters degree in Soils and was currently doing some really interesting work studying the movement of specialized hormones in groundwater. doesnt mean anything to most of us I know, but when you geek out like me over stupid stuff like this it can be very cool. ITS SCIENCE!
anyway for those of you that know me and have met me, know that im a very casual, lazy type who wears jeans and a tshirt or a hoodie. yadda yadda if it tells you anything of how much respect I have for her, Mary is one of the ONLY people in the world who has ever got me to wear a tie. unfortunately she didnt get to see it to make fun of me :/ (and she would have). but after her funeral some old friends and I went and had a drink at a local tavern and told some stories about our friend and we all at least got to have a smile and laugh.
anyway thats the big thing that happened lately, and I dont ever want to do it again. Im 24 years old and have burried too many friends. starting sophomore year in high school when one of my good friends passed away from cancer its been happening way too often and im FUCKING SICK OF IT so if any of you out there are planning on partaking in activities that are more dangerous than just walking down the sidewalk I beg you to please be safe. My friend was just killed in an ATV accident, which really made me feel weird because it is my job to send my 8 employees out on ATV's every day. I'm usually the first one to skip safety and just go, but I need to change that.
new topic: a friend of mine recently moved from his home to a new one in a new state and a new town. This is a big deal and I was helping him in the transition period of moving which im happy to do, but with all the stress iv had with my work, school, lack of social life, and medical issues(no I will not go into this so please dont ask) I basically lost my mind. ever since last winter I have been contemplating leaving the fandom simply to try to simplify my life. now, with school starting this week I think I really need to consider taking a break for a while. furry helped me a lot in my life a few years ago, but lately has been a stressor in many cases. I have a lot of furry stuff (plushies, art, fursuit etc..) that may be up for grabs soon. probably not for keeps, but somewhat of "long-term loan" some of the little stuff is no big deal but the special stuff like fursuit will have to go to somebody who really deserves it and will show it the love and respect suits deserve. I will think more on this, and am open to suggestions or input but nothing is written in stone.
I have lots more to update you on but I guess the main thing I wanted to write about was losing my friend, and I miss her. But losing friends who arent dead hurts worse than losing a friend to the reaper, and thats happend a lot to me too. *hugs everybody who reads this* I'm sorry this got to be so long and "emo" but I wanted to get it off my chest.
To my true friends I say thank you:
Anytime you call, I will be there with a grin.
A leopards word is oak to friends old and new,
The hope to positively touch your life is what I aim to see.
Even in the worst black storms, light of friendship can get through.
Reach out your paw if your cup be empty,
And if your cup is already full, may it be filled again.
-Prowler
Summer dwindling down, work was burning me out big time. I have had no time for any personal activities or socializing.
onto the real things that have happend, other than not seeing my in-town friends hardly ever or even talking to them for that matter I have not had a chance to speak with my out of town friends from college in a while up until about 2 weeks ago. On my only day off in weeks I was woken up early when my old roommate called me. He told me that a good friend of ours had been killed.
Needless to say I was shocked and absolutely heartsunk. That was a friday and since I am basically the only one of us that still lives in town I was all alone. the best thing I could do was cry, pour a drink and say some words to the memory of my friend that weekend. the next monday I worked like 17 hour day until about 2AM, came home and tried to sleep a bit. I got about 2 hours of sleep before I had to be dressed up and on the road at 6AM out to western north dakota for her funeral on tuesday morning. I made it there and just the sight of the church hit me like a ton of bricks. I pulled in and just sat in my pickup trying to pull myself together. I got together with a friend in the parking lot to say our somber goodmornings, when another good friend of ours pulled into the church. This is a friend of mine who was closer than anybody to Mary and I had been worried about him ever since the accident. I had talked to him every day since but when you see a guy who is a big tough guy with no "pussiness" about him get out of his truck with tears already streaming struggling to say good morning to me as he squeezed me in a big hug, you know that A: he was hurting real bad, and B: Mary meant a lot to him. Her funeral was what I would call boring, but if you knew Mary she would have found it just right. She was a quiet person who rarely did the "over the top" type of thing. she was however without a doubt the most intelligent woman I knew. I mean no offense to other women here, but most of you are crazy. especially those women that iv met with higher than average IQ the craziness tends to go up. Mary was so down to earth. last year she finished her Masters degree in Soils and was currently doing some really interesting work studying the movement of specialized hormones in groundwater. doesnt mean anything to most of us I know, but when you geek out like me over stupid stuff like this it can be very cool. ITS SCIENCE!
anyway for those of you that know me and have met me, know that im a very casual, lazy type who wears jeans and a tshirt or a hoodie. yadda yadda if it tells you anything of how much respect I have for her, Mary is one of the ONLY people in the world who has ever got me to wear a tie. unfortunately she didnt get to see it to make fun of me :/ (and she would have). but after her funeral some old friends and I went and had a drink at a local tavern and told some stories about our friend and we all at least got to have a smile and laugh.
anyway thats the big thing that happened lately, and I dont ever want to do it again. Im 24 years old and have burried too many friends. starting sophomore year in high school when one of my good friends passed away from cancer its been happening way too often and im FUCKING SICK OF IT so if any of you out there are planning on partaking in activities that are more dangerous than just walking down the sidewalk I beg you to please be safe. My friend was just killed in an ATV accident, which really made me feel weird because it is my job to send my 8 employees out on ATV's every day. I'm usually the first one to skip safety and just go, but I need to change that.
new topic: a friend of mine recently moved from his home to a new one in a new state and a new town. This is a big deal and I was helping him in the transition period of moving which im happy to do, but with all the stress iv had with my work, school, lack of social life, and medical issues(no I will not go into this so please dont ask) I basically lost my mind. ever since last winter I have been contemplating leaving the fandom simply to try to simplify my life. now, with school starting this week I think I really need to consider taking a break for a while. furry helped me a lot in my life a few years ago, but lately has been a stressor in many cases. I have a lot of furry stuff (plushies, art, fursuit etc..) that may be up for grabs soon. probably not for keeps, but somewhat of "long-term loan" some of the little stuff is no big deal but the special stuff like fursuit will have to go to somebody who really deserves it and will show it the love and respect suits deserve. I will think more on this, and am open to suggestions or input but nothing is written in stone.
I have lots more to update you on but I guess the main thing I wanted to write about was losing my friend, and I miss her. But losing friends who arent dead hurts worse than losing a friend to the reaper, and thats happend a lot to me too. *hugs everybody who reads this* I'm sorry this got to be so long and "emo" but I wanted to get it off my chest.
To my true friends I say thank you:
Anytime you call, I will be there with a grin.
A leopards word is oak to friends old and new,
The hope to positively touch your life is what I aim to see.
Even in the worst black storms, light of friendship can get through.
Reach out your paw if your cup be empty,
And if your cup is already full, may it be filled again.
-Prowler
And I´m hugely sorry for for friend,I hope that everything goes better...If you need to talk,i´m always willing to listen who´s my friend is doing
I kept looking through my comments for your name,
wondering when I hear from you.
I'm so sorry to learn this is why you've been away.
Nothing hurts worse than losing a good friend,
be it that they moved on physically or have moved on to a higher place.
You are in my thoughts, my friend.
I hope you are able to hang on to your suit,
it has brought joy to many on these pages and
certainly to this old dog.
However, if you take a furry break, that's cool, too.
I'd still be honored to sit down and have a beer and
chat about vector control for as long as you want.
You are a great guy and I'm proud to call you my friend.
No matter what though I would still love to sit down and chat with you about anything :) I'm very happy to call you a friend Dogbomb *hugs tightly*
But I'm sorry to hear about how you had to go through, thats absolutely terrible and no one should ever have to be put through that. I hope things start to slow down for you and let you clear your head, get into a routine a little. You've had a hell of a lot on your plate recently.
That being said, I'm not gonna pretend I know better in regards to leaving or staying with the fandom, but based on personal experience, taking a break for a predetermined period of time was very, very good for me and probably would be for you too. Gives you a chance to focus on the more important things in life, and get those in order.
But if you do decide to leave, I'd like to keep in touch with ya, even though we never really got the chance to become good friends. Give me a call or text some time, or even an IM. 412-251-7788, best of luck with everything!