Next human that promises me dog cock or horse cock but instead shows their own human penis(via webcam or other online means), I'm offering you a chicken sandwich but instead using human butt meat. Human cocks are boring.

I decided today that I may actually just be straight, but only with the exception of furry and pedo pictures(I didn't choose to like either, and yes, I should see a psychologist about that second one). I've been considering myself bi, maybe even gay, but watching a grown man jack off just doesn't do it for me. The oldest guys I want to see naked are maybe 18, and at that point it's limited to girly bois. I'm not into muscle. And ugh, not even looking at anal.
As for women, I like them from 18 to 30(I'm 27), but they have to not be annoying and absolutely can't tell any male-bashing jokes. So yeah, that excludes every female I've ever met. Thankfully I'm quite happy being alone. Part of that might be not knowing what I'm missing, although I also know of too many dating horror stories. I've even had a married guy tell me, "Don't EVER get married!". Plus my parents have been divorced for a couple decades, so I definitely haven't seen many good examples of a successful marriage.

Maybe I should start a sex life, STD's be damned. That's my main de-motivator; disease. Plus girlfriends are expensive and I can't even afford my OWN movie tickets. And hookers? Even after all the gifts boyfriends are supposed to buy girlfriends, I think hookers might still be more expensive, although I'd at least get more.

I think my biggest turn-on is still a furry 12 year old boy without pants, covered in sugar. This does not bode well for my mom's aspirations of me eventually getting married.