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I find it kinda funny..
15 years ago
General
Be warned this is going to be a pretty long rant. I'm sorry I've been posting so much of these..
Okay, where to start.. hmm.. alright I might sound like a whinny little bitch a good part of the time.. and I know all to well that many out there have it much harder and I'm better off then most. I understand that and in many ways I'm very greatful..
But, I've just about had it when it comes to friends. Nothing ever seems to work out...
For example. A few years back I moved in with an old high school buddy and her boyfriend. Both who I really respected and cared for. I lived with them for 9 months. They knew I couldn't pay much seeing as I was pretty sick back then and couldn't hold down a job with out losing my coverages. Well my dumb ass roommate didn't know how to change the oil in her car and just continued to pour more and more oil into it. So the car dies. :/ So what do I do to help.. I end up baby sitting their friends kids so that they may get rides here and there. I didn't care it wasn't hard.. :/ until it turned into.. I was watching these kids from 7 am, to 11 pm every single day. blah blah blah... a few months pass.. and things are getting tighter and tighter.. and I'm getting sicker and sicker... my roommies go out with friends and party as I stay home and watch the kids and animals.. with no food anywhere in the house.. BUT thats okay.. they said they'd bring me some stuff back! EVERY SINGLE TIME! NOTHING! Even when I gave them my own money.. I got nothing.. so I'm starving .. but who cares.. I'm not pulling my end.. I'm only watching these kids.. taking care of the animals.. and cleaning the house. Cause thats all I can do.
So with me not eating and getting sicker and sicker I end up having to have open heart.. I was gone a month. My roommies told me that they would trade me rooms. So that I can have the master bathroom when I get back. I was gone exactly a month. When I get well enough.. another friend of mine tells me that we are being kicked out.. because my dumb ass roommies quit their jobs.. :/ Cause 1. One of their bosses told them to grow up.. and 2. The other's told them they needed to take a shower.. or some crap like that. So I'm freaking out (still in the hospital) because I'm afraid I might not have a place to come home to. (I wasn't on the best terms with my family. )
Well I guess all an all.. things pull through.. I come home.. to the apartment completely ruined. The kitty little box is MIA, a long with the trash. There is dog shit in every corner.. is smells SOO BAD. All of my drawings.. thrown on the floor a long with my clothing and books. I mean I don't have much.. with my up bringing I learned to only ever have as much as you can carry. Everything I own I can put in about two bags. Maybe three...
And to top it off they switched me rooms.. by taking everything out of their room and into mine. Leaving me nothing by their crappy bed. A pot full of throw up and water.. The living room.. with raw meat still in the package rotting milk.. ect ect ect.. will all my stuff thrown in the mix.. it upset me that they would be so fucked up with my stuff..
I moved out the next day..
okay... moving on...
a few months later.. I go back to high school.. yes high school I didn't finish it until I was 20. :/ well I met this girl.. who seemed kinda cool.. I saw a lot of how I was when I was her age in her. She wanted to learn to draw.. and at the same time she wanted to drop out of school and sell her art of a living.. so I made a deal with her.. if she did her work.. I would teach her how to draw some.. she was all for it.. a few weeks pass.. and I find out she has a 15% in the class that we shared.. :/ so yeah.. I got mad and left.. I didn't really need to stay in that class.. anyway.. next thing I know her older sister whos like 17 starts attacking me online.. saying that I should be proud of her because that was better then its ever been... wtf...
blah blah blah.. I give in and become friends with her and her sister.. only to find out that their mother is some scummy druggy. And that there was never any food in the house.. well at the time I was getting EBT.. so I thought I'd help out..
I was friends with them for about 5 months.. and in that time I must have used about 1,000$ worth of my EBT money.. and I'd give cash to the mother so she could have gas and whatnot.. I was always at their house.. because 'their mother felt more comfortable leaving them for 'work' for a few days/weeks if I was there."
..... their mother is the worst.. she put her dogs before her children. She kicked me and another friend off the couch so that the damn dog to sit there.... her fucking guests.... blah.. anyway...
we have a falling out because of the stupidest shit.. and I cut contact with them.. only to be harassed for the next year.. through e-mails.. texts... phone calls.. rumors.. ect ect ect.. my mate was threated at work as soon as they found out we were together... still to this day.. they tell me shit like (well looks like the clocks ticking and you're heart isn't getting any better.. have fun dying alone.. blah blah blah.. ) -.-
okay MOVING ON...~
I had a friend on here who disowned me because HIS gf broke up with him....... thats all I'll say about that one...
and to top it off..
I lost another friend.. and I have no idea what the hell happened.. but I'm not going to chase after it..
fuck me man...
And this was all just in the past two years..\o.o/
Okay, where to start.. hmm.. alright I might sound like a whinny little bitch a good part of the time.. and I know all to well that many out there have it much harder and I'm better off then most. I understand that and in many ways I'm very greatful..
But, I've just about had it when it comes to friends. Nothing ever seems to work out...
For example. A few years back I moved in with an old high school buddy and her boyfriend. Both who I really respected and cared for. I lived with them for 9 months. They knew I couldn't pay much seeing as I was pretty sick back then and couldn't hold down a job with out losing my coverages. Well my dumb ass roommate didn't know how to change the oil in her car and just continued to pour more and more oil into it. So the car dies. :/ So what do I do to help.. I end up baby sitting their friends kids so that they may get rides here and there. I didn't care it wasn't hard.. :/ until it turned into.. I was watching these kids from 7 am, to 11 pm every single day. blah blah blah... a few months pass.. and things are getting tighter and tighter.. and I'm getting sicker and sicker... my roommies go out with friends and party as I stay home and watch the kids and animals.. with no food anywhere in the house.. BUT thats okay.. they said they'd bring me some stuff back! EVERY SINGLE TIME! NOTHING! Even when I gave them my own money.. I got nothing.. so I'm starving .. but who cares.. I'm not pulling my end.. I'm only watching these kids.. taking care of the animals.. and cleaning the house. Cause thats all I can do.
So with me not eating and getting sicker and sicker I end up having to have open heart.. I was gone a month. My roommies told me that they would trade me rooms. So that I can have the master bathroom when I get back. I was gone exactly a month. When I get well enough.. another friend of mine tells me that we are being kicked out.. because my dumb ass roommies quit their jobs.. :/ Cause 1. One of their bosses told them to grow up.. and 2. The other's told them they needed to take a shower.. or some crap like that. So I'm freaking out (still in the hospital) because I'm afraid I might not have a place to come home to. (I wasn't on the best terms with my family. )
Well I guess all an all.. things pull through.. I come home.. to the apartment completely ruined. The kitty little box is MIA, a long with the trash. There is dog shit in every corner.. is smells SOO BAD. All of my drawings.. thrown on the floor a long with my clothing and books. I mean I don't have much.. with my up bringing I learned to only ever have as much as you can carry. Everything I own I can put in about two bags. Maybe three...
And to top it off they switched me rooms.. by taking everything out of their room and into mine. Leaving me nothing by their crappy bed. A pot full of throw up and water.. The living room.. with raw meat still in the package rotting milk.. ect ect ect.. will all my stuff thrown in the mix.. it upset me that they would be so fucked up with my stuff..
I moved out the next day..
okay... moving on...
a few months later.. I go back to high school.. yes high school I didn't finish it until I was 20. :/ well I met this girl.. who seemed kinda cool.. I saw a lot of how I was when I was her age in her. She wanted to learn to draw.. and at the same time she wanted to drop out of school and sell her art of a living.. so I made a deal with her.. if she did her work.. I would teach her how to draw some.. she was all for it.. a few weeks pass.. and I find out she has a 15% in the class that we shared.. :/ so yeah.. I got mad and left.. I didn't really need to stay in that class.. anyway.. next thing I know her older sister whos like 17 starts attacking me online.. saying that I should be proud of her because that was better then its ever been... wtf...
blah blah blah.. I give in and become friends with her and her sister.. only to find out that their mother is some scummy druggy. And that there was never any food in the house.. well at the time I was getting EBT.. so I thought I'd help out..
I was friends with them for about 5 months.. and in that time I must have used about 1,000$ worth of my EBT money.. and I'd give cash to the mother so she could have gas and whatnot.. I was always at their house.. because 'their mother felt more comfortable leaving them for 'work' for a few days/weeks if I was there."
..... their mother is the worst.. she put her dogs before her children. She kicked me and another friend off the couch so that the damn dog to sit there.... her fucking guests.... blah.. anyway...
we have a falling out because of the stupidest shit.. and I cut contact with them.. only to be harassed for the next year.. through e-mails.. texts... phone calls.. rumors.. ect ect ect.. my mate was threated at work as soon as they found out we were together... still to this day.. they tell me shit like (well looks like the clocks ticking and you're heart isn't getting any better.. have fun dying alone.. blah blah blah.. ) -.-
okay MOVING ON...~
I had a friend on here who disowned me because HIS gf broke up with him....... thats all I'll say about that one...
and to top it off..
I lost another friend.. and I have no idea what the hell happened.. but I'm not going to chase after it..
fuck me man...
And this was all just in the past two years..\o.o/
I'll get your back if people start shit
*grabs his bat*
Pretty much all I can do. I don't wanna feel sorry for you cause that just makes things worse.
Hugs maybe?
If people get pissy-pantsed and you still need to vent, feel free to hit me up :o
Things'll get better, I'm certain ><
And you have full on permission to rant about something like this. I always find a quick outburst like this helps me to focus and helps me to move on.
And no hun, you will never be alone. You will always have people that care about you.
*gives you a great big hug*
I am left wondering what kind of mother would leave their kids from 7 am to 11 pm everyday... what a rotten thing to do to your children T.T I hate just having mine gone at school all day >.>
I am sorry people have treated you so shitty... I have gone through it as well... *hugs* makes me wish we knew each other off this site.
I'm here though if you ever need to talk.
This is why I come off as an isolated, callous, sarcastic bitch most of the time in person. Unless you really know me. It is a defense mechanism built up from years of this sort of thing, but I won't get into it, just know that there are ways to stop yourself from wasting your energy, signs that let you pick up on whether or not they're really worth it.
I'm not going to feel sorry for you, you don't need that. I feel sorry for the fact that you wasted your kind-heartedness on people who didn't deserve it, that they benefited with their greed, but never ever regret OR forget your past. You always learn from it, no matter what happens or how bad it was. Just don't let your past be your present, just always keep the mistakes in mind and try to learn to avoid situations like that.
I really wish you got more in return sometimes. A lot of people deserve what you do, mostly going unnamed. I feel bad for never getting that tutorial to you now... ;< Lieka, I'll make sure you get it by the end of this week. I promise.
I want to help.