I seem to be under a lot of it lately, and it's not from school. Remember the rant about not being able to do anything right? Apparently the roomie really agrees with that and doesn't mind voicing her opinion to friends of ours. However, these "friends" seem to be more loyal to her and won't really say a thing to me.

Last Friday I lost my keys. That night I couldn't sleep well. I woke up exhausted and I was in serious pain thanks to my period. By the end of my tutorin' session with Janet I could not for the life of me remember the two classes I had that day. When I stepped out of the building to walk home I realized I didn't hear the jingle of my keys. It took me a while to realize I hadn't heard it for a long time. I thought I was a moron and left them at home when I ran back in to check for them. Luckily for me Jim was already waiting for me when I got to the apartment. I went to check the apartment, tho, to pray that the roomie was there. She wasn't - Fridays are date night for her and her mate.

So, in tears of frustration I went home with Jim. I -finally- got a hold of the roomie Friday night when she got home and we made plans to meet at the apartment at some point so I could get some clothes and my school stuff.

Fast forward to me waiting. Apparently she and a "friend" of mine were talking trash about me, Jim, and Em on their way up. Seems as if they didn't notice that their car was sitting there. That is until Jim heard his name, turned around, and caught the "friend's" eye when he moved to get out of the car. He didn't, but she blanched a li'l, accordin' to him, and immediately shut up. The roomie, however... yea.. *sigh*

I guess when they were out of earshot the "friend" started to talk again. The only reason I assume this is because they were talking about me when they got off the elevator. The entire time I was in their presence I could feel that they really didn't like me anymore.

Seriously, I don't know what I did wrong. I stopped being so "emo" around them (they said I acted like that and a total bitch toward them last quarter when I started to date Em and Jim), and treated them like friends again. However, this quarter it felt as if they both walked all over me.

I'm really just sick of it. I'm at the point where I don't care at all if I ever see them again. Maybe then this stress I feel will go away once I'm in a better atmosphere. Maybe I won't have those horrible breakdowns anymore and contemplate jumping from a tenth story balcony. Maybe my life will actually seem much better without those two.

Sure, we had some great times together. Things changed, tho. Sad that a girl known for 17 years and considered her a best friend for those years is starting to be viewed this much of a pain.

I'm probably as much a pain to her as she is to me. Oh well. Shit happens and some things are just meant to be left in the past and never looked at again.