I was really looking forward to the Furbowl for this month, but now I'm having doubts about going. I mean, it's exactly one day after my birthday, and I've already gone through all the trouble of requesting off work for that evening a month or so ago. I even set some money aside to actually enjoy the dinner portion of the event. (After working almost 60 hours in one week, I damn well better have some money to treat myself with! )

But with everything that's been going on with the whole I'm-not-suicidal-even-though-people-thought-I-was stuff that went down, I'm a bit unsure of how people will react to me being there. I guess I'm really just afraid of getting the wrong kind of attention, you know? Like everyone's gonna be all "ZOMG I thought you got died!!!!111!!!!one!!!!!"...Or even worse, people reacting with "ZOMG You faked your death online LOL N00B!!!!111!!!!one!!!!!"

I know that it's been proven that the whole mess was cause by someone with a tragic case of a mental condition more commonly known as "Batshit Insanity", but it's just the illusion that I was somehow involved beyond posting journals that inadvertently made people really pissy at me, or suggested that there was truth to the whole death rumor, that makes me uneasy. I know I've said it before, but it's not the facts that matter. It's what people think are the facts that people will pay attention to, and to hell with contrary proof.

I've been kinda doing a mental tally of the pros and cons of going, and the birthday thing's currently the only thing on the "Pro" list. And the "Con" list is getting longer every time I think about it. Doesn't mean "I'm not going, period", but I have a really bad feeling about what would happen if I did.

~Kyetsu