SHould I give up...? I dunno... I feel like I should...

Hell... I just want grocery sopping for my mum, and I thought it would be a nice thing to do...

WRONG!!!!

She gave me a list and I totally blew it off, I didn't know she was on the verge of no money... so kno THANKS TO GOD DAMNED ME my mum is broke... and she is getting chrged for it b/c there is no money... I Fucking HATE myself I could just die.... but I can't... because I'm a coward... I can't cause myself to bleed purposfully... I just wish... I felt like me... I wish I felt welcomed to my mum's home... to my current home... but I made it like this... and I don't deserve to be given anymore chances... how I'm still allowed under this roof is a mystery to me.... I keep having thoughts of just not going home... but I do anyway... I want to cry myself to sleep... but I CAN'T... I'm a lowly shadow... that's it! I'm goign to fail, when I'm on my own in the 'real' world.... I'm going to be a homeless, begging, failure... This dragon and pup sees NO future... so I"ll try my best to get threw school, just to find a dead end,and sit there until I write my final chapter in life... I'll be spending my whole life in a dead end...


I hope this will meen nothing tomorrow and that I can laugh at this... I don't like feeling like this... utter and total shit... I have a heart... and for some reason... I can never fix it... or return it to whole...


SO know you know my little sap story... please comment.... or not... i dun care... Hell I don't care how much you bash me on here either... It's not like it's fake... Say how childish i am.... say how annoying, or irritating I am... give me some reasons to never trust myslf again.... I can already name one person tat won't care about this.... so... until next time...

G'Eon and Eon, out....