So i'm still busy with music, and this Sunday there is a memorial for my friend's sister who died. She also happened to be a friend, not the best but I am good friends (or was) with the whole family. Too bad I decided to be a bitch a while back and not be very close with them because Zag(one of the sisters) started dating my old mate, who I hated so much that you couldn't have us in the same building without us having a row. So I feel like...terribly bad because I don't even know her phone number any more. I don't know if she even knows that I got the news, and I haven't contacted her at all. So I feel like a really bad friend. And at this memorial what the hell am I supposed to do? Go up to them and give them a big ol' hug like I never purposely didn't hang out with her very much. I mean, its reasonable that I didn't want to be around her mate because we didn't get along but that isn't a reason to not really be as good of friends any more. That would be hypocritical and that makes me hate myself for being like that. Well not much I can do now, all I know is i'm kind of worried about this weekend...i'm terrible about stuff like that. I went to my dad's friend's memorial thing and I barely even knew him and it made me all sad :( it was really weird too because he had an identicle twin that was running around, so that made everyone miss him a little more.

So with all that I've been staring at a blank sketch pad forever, and not being about do draw shit. I failed and then just gave up, now the blank peice of paper is like...engulfing my mind or something so I figure I should probably give it a rest and just go to sleep. *salutes* i'll update eventually


***thanks to all the new watchers!! I know there was only three of you but it really brightening my day. for me, three more people watching my stuff is a lot. Its not like i'm blotch or anything, give me a break