AGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! *runs, hides*

Yes, I am alive. Im just writing this journal to the 5 lucky people who actually watch me!. Hopefully in the coming weeks i'm going to try and go back into Cinema4D again and try to model...a house! Or something small and easy, just to find my groove again. Hopefully if i can just model a little each day, i'll be able to stay in that mindset. Course with all the lovely shite thats been happening in my life lately its a toss up of if I'll be able to do it at all. I dunno, im trying to get structure back into my life, trying to at least stay on a track instead being knocked off every 5 minutes. *sighs* Life truly can be a bitch sometimes. My reality has been changed so drastically in the past month or so with all these lovely "events" as I'll call them. And a lovely quote I came up with: "What once was, never shall be ever again." I say that to describe my situation. I just hope that all will truly not go to hell like I fear it will. But enough of that depressive blathering, even though I can't afford my medication, ive been forcing myself to see a brighter day, in all that bad thats happen and surely to come, it will eventually end, and happiness and goodness in my life will rise valiantly once again. So cheers to everyones successes, achievements, happiness, and love. To all my friends and family, who have been with me through all this time, and to those I will meet, and the friends I will gain. Now is the time to choose happiness, then wallow and be sucked into depression. You may have clinical depression, and you may not be on medication, but in the end, you can still choose happiness, even if its only for a fleeting second.

Also, ID LIKE TO SEND A SHOUT OUT TO MY FRIEND ART! WOOOOH! I SO LIKE YOUR ART ON FRL! *Fur affinty live* OMG YOUR SO HAWT! WOOOH!

Dont ask me why i just went into mtv land there. IM FUCKING BATSHIT INSANE PEOPLE?! WHY DO YOU THINK IM SUCH AN ODD TIGER? And btw, the llamas say hey.

"Hey"