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Yup, just taking it easy...
19 years ago
Well, for those of you who don't know me all that well, or have'nt noticed my latest info or pics on Eka's site. I've found myself in a major funk lately. Depression from being avoided by some online, and burnt out on drawing.
However, I've been trying my best to keep my hopes up and look on the bright side of things.. But, each time I'm online, I find myself only being reminded of what gets to me the most. Thus, I get depressed once again. >.> I've always had a depression problem. Anymore I keep thinking I should start trying to take medication for it. x.x But can't really even afford that at the moment.
Yes, rl has'nt been that much helpful either. But still taking it one day at a time. Been having it's up's and down's, rl and online all in one. But still going.
But, even though I've been in a major funk the past few days now. The few friend's I have, have been helping me feel alittle bit better. That and comments. So that always helps make me feel a bit better. It's a good feeling to know that their are some people out there who do care and stick by you through the best and worst times.
For those of you who have'nt guessed it, I've always been a rather sensative person. >.> And I tend to take some things to heart. Then again, I dunno. Maybe I just have problems. One minute I'm happy, the next I find myself down in the dumps. Just like that. x.x It gets old fast, believe you, me.
Anyway, to point out the subject of this post. I've been trying to take it easy alittle bit. Spending less time online. Anymore, drawing has'nt been all that fun for me like it use to be. I go through alot in making my drawings, due to what I have to work with. No tablet and such. Just a mouse as far as outlining, coloring, and guessing at shading.
I found myself staying up pretty late almost every night. Working on drawings, some with a couple trade's I owe. Other's, mostly gift art....in hopes to please other's. As well as a couple requests. So, I've been losing quite a bit of sleep and having to wake up early. So I've only just been wearing myself out, and burning myself out by forcing myself to get drawings done. Especially when the mood was'nt even there.
So again, trying to take it easy lately and trying to get out of this depressional funk and burn out. For those who I still owe a trade on DA. Sorry it's been taking me so long. I lost count how many times I said I was sorry over it. >.> I hate to make people wait. v.v I know what it's like. I've been made to wait before too.
Here's a small example, but for a request.
*Pass if you wish. Story time.*
Hoodah, I think that's how his name is spelled. >.> Been so long now, I can't be sure. I requested a pic from him, In which I'm guessing it's been two years now. He kept saying he would get around to it. Although I tried not to ever bring it up. Maybe every once in a while, checking in for any updates about it. Since then he's gone through many sketches I've seen. Probably for other people, or just for whatever idea's he had. Funny thing, is...I only brought up about it maybe once or twice a month at the most. Maybe more then that a month. I can't remember for sure.
Last I spoke to him, which I think has been now a couple months ago. He told me he kinda buried it. I understood. However, he said nothing more about it after that.. So I assumed since then that most likely he'll never do it. Eh, was a shame. I was probably one of his biggest fans too. >.> The guy never would keep in touch anyway unless I ever messaged him. Whenever I did, it was like I was wasting my time at trying to chat and make friend's with him.
Anyway, that's an example. So my point is, I know what it feels like to have to wait. x.x But...whenever I do draw something for someone. I'm always afraid it will turn out bad somehow. And I may not please them enough with it. Whenever I get the inspiration and in the mood, that's when I guess makes it easier for me to draw something. But I have tried to push myself to where I can draw and not worry so much about how it turns out. But like I said, been kinda burning myself out lately. So to the couple of people I do owe, I'm VERY sorry.
Just keep in mind that I have'nt forgotten about you. And I will still keep my word and finish them when I can. I guess in a way, I brought this on myself. I thought I could handle it. I mean, I've been lucky to get a few trade's in, in other places outside FA. And I'm always still looking to do more with other's. Thing is, it's hard to find people who can actually do a trade. Especially here on FA, and DA. So I just look, see if it's ok. Then stand by for it. Hoping it will be kept in mind, but I don't expect it anytime soon at all. Mostly because I'm alittle piled up myself. And I'm sure many other artists are to.
It's hard for me to explain. >.> Maybe after I get my spunk back, I'll just get to work on everything that needs to be done, first. Before I continue foward with anything else. I already tried working on everything earlier, but got burnt out. And kinda put gift art first toward people I've known for quite a while. I'm always afraid that a friend will doubt me for taking so long on something. But...if I do make a trade with someone. And if they actually get their part of it done so soon. I hate to make them wait for my end. v.v For one, it sucks to have to wait. And two, I might lose their trust in trying out future trade's if it could actually ever come to that. x.x
On a final note. Anything vorish that I draw...seems to only have to be at night time. It's not that I'm lazy or anything. It's just that...I really can't draw anything vorish or something that has big bellies if I'm around other people during the day. The only free time I get to myself is late at night. Bt then I'm tired and sometimes the drawing mood is there, alot of the time it is'nt. Depends on inspiration really...
Anyway, hope this has covered everything. Hope I did'nt blabber my mouth too much. If you come this far....Well, maybe you see my point, maybe you don't. Just hope this was able to answer any questions.
Well, that's all for now. Once I get something new done, it will be submitted here from now on. As well as DA. Thank you to those who have been patient and have stuck with me....
However, I've been trying my best to keep my hopes up and look on the bright side of things.. But, each time I'm online, I find myself only being reminded of what gets to me the most. Thus, I get depressed once again. >.> I've always had a depression problem. Anymore I keep thinking I should start trying to take medication for it. x.x But can't really even afford that at the moment.
Yes, rl has'nt been that much helpful either. But still taking it one day at a time. Been having it's up's and down's, rl and online all in one. But still going.
But, even though I've been in a major funk the past few days now. The few friend's I have, have been helping me feel alittle bit better. That and comments. So that always helps make me feel a bit better. It's a good feeling to know that their are some people out there who do care and stick by you through the best and worst times.
For those of you who have'nt guessed it, I've always been a rather sensative person. >.> And I tend to take some things to heart. Then again, I dunno. Maybe I just have problems. One minute I'm happy, the next I find myself down in the dumps. Just like that. x.x It gets old fast, believe you, me.
Anyway, to point out the subject of this post. I've been trying to take it easy alittle bit. Spending less time online. Anymore, drawing has'nt been all that fun for me like it use to be. I go through alot in making my drawings, due to what I have to work with. No tablet and such. Just a mouse as far as outlining, coloring, and guessing at shading.
I found myself staying up pretty late almost every night. Working on drawings, some with a couple trade's I owe. Other's, mostly gift art....in hopes to please other's. As well as a couple requests. So, I've been losing quite a bit of sleep and having to wake up early. So I've only just been wearing myself out, and burning myself out by forcing myself to get drawings done. Especially when the mood was'nt even there.
So again, trying to take it easy lately and trying to get out of this depressional funk and burn out. For those who I still owe a trade on DA. Sorry it's been taking me so long. I lost count how many times I said I was sorry over it. >.> I hate to make people wait. v.v I know what it's like. I've been made to wait before too.
Here's a small example, but for a request.
*Pass if you wish. Story time.*
Hoodah, I think that's how his name is spelled. >.> Been so long now, I can't be sure. I requested a pic from him, In which I'm guessing it's been two years now. He kept saying he would get around to it. Although I tried not to ever bring it up. Maybe every once in a while, checking in for any updates about it. Since then he's gone through many sketches I've seen. Probably for other people, or just for whatever idea's he had. Funny thing, is...I only brought up about it maybe once or twice a month at the most. Maybe more then that a month. I can't remember for sure.
Last I spoke to him, which I think has been now a couple months ago. He told me he kinda buried it. I understood. However, he said nothing more about it after that.. So I assumed since then that most likely he'll never do it. Eh, was a shame. I was probably one of his biggest fans too. >.> The guy never would keep in touch anyway unless I ever messaged him. Whenever I did, it was like I was wasting my time at trying to chat and make friend's with him.
Anyway, that's an example. So my point is, I know what it feels like to have to wait. x.x But...whenever I do draw something for someone. I'm always afraid it will turn out bad somehow. And I may not please them enough with it. Whenever I get the inspiration and in the mood, that's when I guess makes it easier for me to draw something. But I have tried to push myself to where I can draw and not worry so much about how it turns out. But like I said, been kinda burning myself out lately. So to the couple of people I do owe, I'm VERY sorry.
Just keep in mind that I have'nt forgotten about you. And I will still keep my word and finish them when I can. I guess in a way, I brought this on myself. I thought I could handle it. I mean, I've been lucky to get a few trade's in, in other places outside FA. And I'm always still looking to do more with other's. Thing is, it's hard to find people who can actually do a trade. Especially here on FA, and DA. So I just look, see if it's ok. Then stand by for it. Hoping it will be kept in mind, but I don't expect it anytime soon at all. Mostly because I'm alittle piled up myself. And I'm sure many other artists are to.
It's hard for me to explain. >.> Maybe after I get my spunk back, I'll just get to work on everything that needs to be done, first. Before I continue foward with anything else. I already tried working on everything earlier, but got burnt out. And kinda put gift art first toward people I've known for quite a while. I'm always afraid that a friend will doubt me for taking so long on something. But...if I do make a trade with someone. And if they actually get their part of it done so soon. I hate to make them wait for my end. v.v For one, it sucks to have to wait. And two, I might lose their trust in trying out future trade's if it could actually ever come to that. x.x
On a final note. Anything vorish that I draw...seems to only have to be at night time. It's not that I'm lazy or anything. It's just that...I really can't draw anything vorish or something that has big bellies if I'm around other people during the day. The only free time I get to myself is late at night. Bt then I'm tired and sometimes the drawing mood is there, alot of the time it is'nt. Depends on inspiration really...
Anyway, hope this has covered everything. Hope I did'nt blabber my mouth too much. If you come this far....Well, maybe you see my point, maybe you don't. Just hope this was able to answer any questions.
Well, that's all for now. Once I get something new done, it will be submitted here from now on. As well as DA. Thank you to those who have been patient and have stuck with me....
....but you already knew that.
....and to be perfectly honest, that explains just about everything. I'm gonna take a wild shot in the dark, but I'm gonna say that when you drink coffee, it doesn't usually work right for you, or if it does, then it's because you drink it by the gallon.
Ask me how I know.
All the same, sorry to hear. I'm averse to taking more medications, but that's me. Depression is serious business... sorta like the common cold of mental health.... signals a huge problem if it doesn't go away after a week or so. If you need to, get that medicine... if nothign else, it'll get you feeling better, so you CAN work on those trades and get you in the clear from feeling guilty about them. I got a friend who feels the same way and he's got some big money hanging over his head for 'em.
Take care of your self. I mean it!
...Or else! ;)