People have long asked, "How do you be so foxy?!". So here I am to tell you some of what it takes to be a fox! Not one of those dogs pretending to be foxes, but a 100% VOOPY FAWKS. I will not divulge the super secrets only known to the Foxes, but will tell you some of the important things about being the greatest of species.

First of all, foxes are not about humping. If you're in it for sex... stop immediately calling yourself a fox! Foxes are teases if anything, and if there was anything pervy to be had, it's just a side effect of all that foxyness. It's like buying a Corvette. It comes with a tailpipe, but you don't buy it for that! However I'm sure there are tailpipe enthusiasts, but don't forget, it's still all about that which is being a FOX.

Secondly, real foxes are never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever actually submissive. Want to be a power bottom in life? Go be a wolf. To be a fox means to be strong-willed and independent. You can let someone think they're in charge, but you only do so so they can do all the heavy work while you enjoy the sweeter part of life as they lummox around. Every fox worth his salt will put on a big show, but at the end of the day, you should know who the real boss is, YOU.

Thirdly is one of the biggest requirements to be a fox. You must be smarter than the average person. I don't mean the "I'm an internet nerd and hate everyone because they're so dumb!". You must be smart enough to make snappy comebacks, lead conversations, steer non-foxy activities to ones that notice how pretty you are, etc. If you can't "outfox" a non-fox, then well, you must not be a fox.

Foxes are the softest, bushiest animals in the universe. Roll around to show people your fur. Demanding a petting is like the free samples at the mall food court, only higher quality. People need to know just how fluffy you are so they can enjoy it too!

Next up, as a fox you should know there are things of high importance to you that seethe vulpiney respendence. Foxes will seek out and enjoy all of these things as they help recharge our foxyness. Here is a brief list:

*Your fur.
*Your tail.
*Your cute face.
*Your cute everything else.
*CHAWKIT (chocolate to those who don't speak Fox)
*Pettings, cuddles, scritches, and the like.
*Pixy Stix
*Pillows
*BUFFWHYZ! (butterflies to those who don't speak Fox)
*Other people's warmth.

People should notice foxes! Voops love colors and will often surround themselves in beautiful things that are as lively as we are. Stand out. Be adorable. Relax as everyone basks in your glory and wants to pet you. It's wonderful.

I will tell you is that as a fox, you are required to have and enjoy having enemies! Everybody wants to be you, but nobody could be you. Foxes are in a great spot to have numerous foes to keep our creativity and energy flowing. Your primary nemeses are rabbits, squirrels, chickens, hound dogs, guard/watch dogs, toasters, and WOLVES. Every one of these you are likely to run into now and then, and you have full right to hassle them as you see fit. Do everything you can to make their lives harder and oddly everything around you will become easier as that's what we call Natural Order. However be careful of dogs and wolves as they're big enough to smash you, and the other species able to trick you back if you aren't attentive. Also picking on any other species is viable and often a fun challenge, though you're not obligated to and many such as dragons are prone to roll over and use you as a throw rug for attempting the feat.

Lastly, beware of coyotes, weasels (ferrets included), guard/watch dogs, and sometimes cats. Due to Natural Order, they are given the ability to pick on you back and do not get any cosmic repercussion for doing so. This means you're free to tie dynamite to them, but also if you're being cute and they come along to mallet you into an accordion, you're just going to have to suck it up. >.<

Well those are just a few lessons on how to be a better, fluffier, softer, more vulpiney fox! Now to the non-foxes reading this, PET ME.