Fuck the world and all the ass holes in it that make a living by fucking me over one day after the other. I am sick and tired of trying to do things they way i am told and going about things the "right" way, only to find out that I got fucked over again. Do you have to be an ass hole to get anything in this world? Do you have to not give a fuck who you step on or what you do? Maybe the old saying "Nice guys finish last" is true. maybe in the process of doing the right thing you have to screw yourself over. I don't know what to do. i am lost and crying for help and guidance and no one is able to give me any.
Why do we have to be so aware. why not be something so simple as a butterfly. everything is simple and understood. you do what you are supposed to do when you are supposed to do it and you turn into a beautiful thing. then when you die you know you made the would a little bit prettier place.
I just want it all to stop. all the pain, all the deception, all the "out of the blue-fuck yous". I can't take it any more. I think i would rather be told nothing at all than have described to me a beautiful place that turns out to be nothing more than a picture on a long and lonely wall.
It's just not worth the pain.