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Piss Off, Jolly Rover
15 years ago
General
WARNING: BAD LANGUAGE AHEAD
So. You remember that game I praised so highly a couple weeks back? Jolly Rover? Well, the game has officially managed to piss me off. I need to blow off steam, so prepare for a good, hard rant, with plenty of swearing thrown in. You were warned.
I've been enjoying the game so far, and although I did have to get a hint on one of the puzzles, mostly I just played around with things until they presented solutions (you'd be surprised what random combining of objects can do). Then I got to a puzzle that can't be solved with random combining of items. And this is where things went bad.
To solve the puzzle, you need three key pieces of information, which translate into numbers on a combination lock. I got all the information I needed, but the problem was the combination was a bugger to figure out. I tried several different combinations with no luck. I wasn't even sure I had the second bit right, so I felt helpless. I had to turn to the hint guide for help (Jaun Leon, the parrot). Because, y'know, hint guides are meant to give you information when you get stuck, and he usually gives me a prod in the right direction.
Fucking feathered bastard. He has a lot of character, but he's a piss poor source of information. If you're not already thinking in the right direction, then Jaun is not helpful. At all. He's great at telling you what you need, but for this particular puzzle he won't tell you how to interpret it. How was I supposed to know to reduce it all to single digits?! The fucking game never even hinted at that!! There was no indication this was required. I just ended up turning the fucking wheel this way and that, trying to figure it out. And Jaun? Oh, he never told me what to do. Oh no.
He showed me.
He fucking showed me.
*deep breath*
I'd just like to say to the developers at Brawsome...
FUCK YOU! THAT IS NOT A HINT GUIDE!! THAT's THE FUCKING GAME SOLVING ITSELF!!!! I CAN TURN A FUCKING WHEEL, YOU FUCKTARDS!! I WANTED THE DAMN INFORMATION!! THE SOLUTION!! JUST GIVE ME THE ANSWER AND I CAN DO THE REST MYSELF!! I AM NOT SO FUCKING HELPLESS THAT I NEED A FUCKING, PERMANENTLY INEBRIATED, ARROGANT PIECE OF SHIT OF A PARROT TO TURN A FUCKING WHEEL FOR ME!!! THIS IS NOT MYST IV FOR FUCK'S SAKE!! THOSE OF YOU WHO THOUGHT HAVING THE PARROT SOLVE THE PUZZLE FOR ME DESERVE TO BE KEELHAULED!! ON A FUCKING AIRCRAFT CARRIER!!!
YOU LOSE!! YOU GET NOTHING!!! GOOD DAY, SIR!!!!
...what the fuck are you looking at? Get!
So. You remember that game I praised so highly a couple weeks back? Jolly Rover? Well, the game has officially managed to piss me off. I need to blow off steam, so prepare for a good, hard rant, with plenty of swearing thrown in. You were warned.
I've been enjoying the game so far, and although I did have to get a hint on one of the puzzles, mostly I just played around with things until they presented solutions (you'd be surprised what random combining of objects can do). Then I got to a puzzle that can't be solved with random combining of items. And this is where things went bad.
To solve the puzzle, you need three key pieces of information, which translate into numbers on a combination lock. I got all the information I needed, but the problem was the combination was a bugger to figure out. I tried several different combinations with no luck. I wasn't even sure I had the second bit right, so I felt helpless. I had to turn to the hint guide for help (Jaun Leon, the parrot). Because, y'know, hint guides are meant to give you information when you get stuck, and he usually gives me a prod in the right direction.
Fucking feathered bastard. He has a lot of character, but he's a piss poor source of information. If you're not already thinking in the right direction, then Jaun is not helpful. At all. He's great at telling you what you need, but for this particular puzzle he won't tell you how to interpret it. How was I supposed to know to reduce it all to single digits?! The fucking game never even hinted at that!! There was no indication this was required. I just ended up turning the fucking wheel this way and that, trying to figure it out. And Jaun? Oh, he never told me what to do. Oh no.
He showed me.
He fucking showed me.
*deep breath*
I'd just like to say to the developers at Brawsome...
FUCK YOU! THAT IS NOT A HINT GUIDE!! THAT's THE FUCKING GAME SOLVING ITSELF!!!! I CAN TURN A FUCKING WHEEL, YOU FUCKTARDS!! I WANTED THE DAMN INFORMATION!! THE SOLUTION!! JUST GIVE ME THE ANSWER AND I CAN DO THE REST MYSELF!! I AM NOT SO FUCKING HELPLESS THAT I NEED A FUCKING, PERMANENTLY INEBRIATED, ARROGANT PIECE OF SHIT OF A PARROT TO TURN A FUCKING WHEEL FOR ME!!! THIS IS NOT MYST IV FOR FUCK'S SAKE!! THOSE OF YOU WHO THOUGHT HAVING THE PARROT SOLVE THE PUZZLE FOR ME DESERVE TO BE KEELHAULED!! ON A FUCKING AIRCRAFT CARRIER!!!
YOU LOSE!! YOU GET NOTHING!!! GOOD DAY, SIR!!!!
...what the fuck are you looking at? Get!
http://www.lordkat.com/until-we-win.....ure-games.html