I have so many ideas of drawings I want to do.. but I can't seem to sit my ass down and do them! When I attempt, the picture I had in mind comes out like crap.

This goes for my commissions as well. I've figured out if I'm on adderall when I'm drawing something.. I tend to erase ten times more and pay extra attention to my pencil lines, making sure they are smooth and not smudged at all. x.x This causes me to take longer in sketching them out. What was fifteen minutes to thirty minutes per sketch is now an hour per sketch. ;-;

Don't get me wrong.. I love the effects of this new medication. But sometimes it can be a pain in the ass when it starts to wear off. A week or two ago I had this horrible obsession with picking my face and body, leaving nasty red marks all over, but fortunately the urge to do so has subsided thank god and now I've got barely any acne like before. I've found that the crash of adderall makes me more anxious and slightly depressed, but not tired (Which is a good thing lol. Before, I just wanted to sleep all day). The main downside is it makes me more clingy towards my boyfriend and my best friend, depends on who I'm hanging out with at the time. I don't like to be alone anymore really, before I enjoyed being by myself somewhat. When the adderall is working I feel like talking it up with anyone near me, I have a lot more energy, I feel like going outside, driving to places more, doing my school work, debating about serious things, eating a lot less (I'm not as obsessed with food as I was before) learning things I don't know about (for some weird reason >_> usually I could care less).. oh and cleaning, can't forget that. I can say I do love my room being clean. XD Over all in my opinion, the positive side effects are outweighing the negative side effects. I guess when the medication isn't working, I feel like my old self, heh.. except more clingy. >.< All I know is it's definately not working as good as it did the first couple of weeks I started taking it. But that happens with all medications, developing a tolerance sucks. Let's just say I'm going to stay at my dosage right now, if I increase it any more I might become insane. One of the best things is I lost 20 pounds since I've started it. I look thinner.. especially my face and stomach and I'm starting to fit in smaller size pants. :D

Me and my boyfriend, DJ, have been doing rather well. We've been spending a lot of time together, which unfortunately makes me more clingy. :( But it's still all good. We have some fights and bickering here and there, but we always make up. He finally got two jobs now, Pier 1 Imports and GameStop. Hopefully he'll be able to pay off his overdue traffic citations that cost him over $700.. and then eventually save up for another car. ._. But what's good is that both jobs are like a mile away from his house at the mall, so he can ride his bike to and from work.

Eh.. school is going okay. The only class I don't like is my graphic design class. The teacher is rude and I can hardly understand her with her thick spanish accent. I've been drawing a lot of naked women models lately in my drawing II class, kind of getting tired of the same girl. >.>

I'm not really sure what else to say.. but yeah, life.