I work a double tomorrow, have an event to go work at night with the pastry chef so it wont be too bad..

Im so tired but the people upstairs are walking SO FUCKING LOUD.

And Im kinda bummed yet excited and happy. Makes no sense I know. I hate having to plan a move. I hate quitting jobs. Makes me feel bad. Cause at both places I've been such a strong member. Like one guy once asked me how long I'd been at my night job and he said he thought I'd been working there so much longer cause it was just normal to see me there and there was never any problems with me.. Like knowing Im leaving two jobs short a really strong worker.. makes me feel bad.

I may act like a bitch sometimes but I really care a lot about people and such.. I honestly cry when I know an action I took made someone upset or stressed or angry.

Sorry San Diego, I can't handle you. Nov. 13th I'm out probably. Yes, I'm still going to try to go to MFF. Since I've got some airline vouchers, I'll be set airfare wise. And I'll do whatever I have to to keep our hotel room guys<3 I'm only going to do this for a few months and I'll be back in CA. I just want to be gutsy and take risks with life. You can only live it once, do what you can with it.

Im like.. half asleep so I'll shut up and try to sleep with a pillow over my ears. I swear I hate those people up there sometimes.