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Tonight, from LAFF coffee, to a mall
15 years ago
So, coffee hour with the Laffers. First it was just me and another guy, sitting where we thought everyone would be sitting. But that isn't the exciting part.
At 8:00, we left for dinner, like every week. This week, Red Robin was our choice. I asked one of the guys how to get to Red Robin. I do not remember exactly what he said; if I did, I might not have gone through what happened next. But I remembered four key phrases: "Golf Road", "turn left", "mall", and "on the right".
Golf Road is just to the north of the coffee shop. So I drove onto Golf and turned right. D'oh! I thought, I was supposed to go left! So I turned around and headed west. After a few blocks down, I thought, wait, there isn't a mall down here. I turned left into a residential section of the town, where the road began to twist and turn around a school. As I drove through the labyrinthine roads, searching for a major intersection, it first occurred to me that I might be lost.
After 15 minutes, I managed to find a road and get my bearings, and I started running through my list of malls in the area. Perhaps he meant that mall with the big clock, next to the library. I headed down that way. Huh, no Red Robin here. Oh, that's because it's actually the Town Square.
Okay, maybe he meant the mall right across from the coffee shop. Not likely, but worth a shot. Into the mall I go. No Red Robin.
Suddenly it hit me. Of course! Woodfield Mall! Specifically, that mall I pass every day on my way to school. I never look around there! Let's go!
I drove into Woodfield (called Woodfield Green), pumped and excited. But no Red Robin. Then it hit me again. Of course! He must have meant that other Woodfield Mall; the one next to the interstate. Off I went again. I started wondering if the world was just toying with me.
I parked in the middle of the Woodfield mall, which is called Streets of Woodfield. I hurried to the directory, and searched the cuisine section. No Red Robin. What, really? I checked again. No Red Robin.
Back in my car. I didn't know any other malls. Well, I guess I'll just have to trust those directions I got, and go left (that is, west) on Golf Road, and look for a mall on my right.
Down on Golf Street I went. Past the coffee shop. Past the road I turned off on earlier. I headed past the major roads, and into the forest preserve. How far could this mall be, exactly? I switched between normal headlights and the high beams, praying that I wouldn't hit any deer. I wondered if I'm leaving the city limits. I wondered if I could just keep driving into the countryside. Finally, I turned into a small housing block, and turned around. It was now 9:30.
All the while, I kept wishing I had a phone number for someone. Except I'm not the wishing-for-things-it's-too-late-to-get type, so I just cursed myself for not asking for one. Except I barely knew everyone, and it seemed too early to ask for phone numbers, so it really wasn't my fault. So instead, I drove away in a foul, irritated mood, unable to think of anyone to take the blame.
I drove home and looked up the spot on Google Maps. Turns out, the Red Robin was next to the school, in that big empty vacant lot that never crossed my mind as even resembling a mall. I hurried back to the car and to the Red Robin. Even if it was too late to meet the guys for dinner, maybe, maybe I could still catch them as they were leaving.
I went to the mall, or more accurately, the really huge parking lot with a building in it. I figured this place was just some rundown part of town. Which side of the parking lot was it on? I went down one way, and then down the other.
Suddenly, crammed in the corner of this building, with an even tinier red sign above it, I see it! Red Robin! Sweet Jesus! Thank God! I made it! And it's only 10:00!
The store is closed. A group of people are inside, but they're an unfamiliar group. There's no one from LAFF around. I sulk at my car for a few minutes, before leaving for home.
Well, at least that money I would've spent on food won't go to waste; it can spend it on gas.
At 8:00, we left for dinner, like every week. This week, Red Robin was our choice. I asked one of the guys how to get to Red Robin. I do not remember exactly what he said; if I did, I might not have gone through what happened next. But I remembered four key phrases: "Golf Road", "turn left", "mall", and "on the right".
Golf Road is just to the north of the coffee shop. So I drove onto Golf and turned right. D'oh! I thought, I was supposed to go left! So I turned around and headed west. After a few blocks down, I thought, wait, there isn't a mall down here. I turned left into a residential section of the town, where the road began to twist and turn around a school. As I drove through the labyrinthine roads, searching for a major intersection, it first occurred to me that I might be lost.
After 15 minutes, I managed to find a road and get my bearings, and I started running through my list of malls in the area. Perhaps he meant that mall with the big clock, next to the library. I headed down that way. Huh, no Red Robin here. Oh, that's because it's actually the Town Square.
Okay, maybe he meant the mall right across from the coffee shop. Not likely, but worth a shot. Into the mall I go. No Red Robin.
Suddenly it hit me. Of course! Woodfield Mall! Specifically, that mall I pass every day on my way to school. I never look around there! Let's go!
I drove into Woodfield (called Woodfield Green), pumped and excited. But no Red Robin. Then it hit me again. Of course! He must have meant that other Woodfield Mall; the one next to the interstate. Off I went again. I started wondering if the world was just toying with me.
I parked in the middle of the Woodfield mall, which is called Streets of Woodfield. I hurried to the directory, and searched the cuisine section. No Red Robin. What, really? I checked again. No Red Robin.
Back in my car. I didn't know any other malls. Well, I guess I'll just have to trust those directions I got, and go left (that is, west) on Golf Road, and look for a mall on my right.
Down on Golf Street I went. Past the coffee shop. Past the road I turned off on earlier. I headed past the major roads, and into the forest preserve. How far could this mall be, exactly? I switched between normal headlights and the high beams, praying that I wouldn't hit any deer. I wondered if I'm leaving the city limits. I wondered if I could just keep driving into the countryside. Finally, I turned into a small housing block, and turned around. It was now 9:30.
All the while, I kept wishing I had a phone number for someone. Except I'm not the wishing-for-things-it's-too-late-to-get type, so I just cursed myself for not asking for one. Except I barely knew everyone, and it seemed too early to ask for phone numbers, so it really wasn't my fault. So instead, I drove away in a foul, irritated mood, unable to think of anyone to take the blame.
I drove home and looked up the spot on Google Maps. Turns out, the Red Robin was next to the school, in that big empty vacant lot that never crossed my mind as even resembling a mall. I hurried back to the car and to the Red Robin. Even if it was too late to meet the guys for dinner, maybe, maybe I could still catch them as they were leaving.
I went to the mall, or more accurately, the really huge parking lot with a building in it. I figured this place was just some rundown part of town. Which side of the parking lot was it on? I went down one way, and then down the other.
Suddenly, crammed in the corner of this building, with an even tinier red sign above it, I see it! Red Robin! Sweet Jesus! Thank God! I made it! And it's only 10:00!
The store is closed. A group of people are inside, but they're an unfamiliar group. There's no one from LAFF around. I sulk at my car for a few minutes, before leaving for home.
Well, at least that money I would've spent on food won't go to waste; it can spend it on gas.
