I knew nothing about the Internet and stumbled around unable to find what I was looking for. I would type a word in to the search engine but nothing relevant came up. Frustrating, but I kept going until found a site called "Baloo Lagoon". This was my gateway to the furry internet world. Sites like "Furnation" and "Cashew Lou's Yukon connection" showed me that the furry world was larger and more sophisticated than I had suspected. For years I was a watcher, shocked that these people felt so free to put even the most questionable artwork on display for anyone to see. And they were actually proud of themselves for doing it. Did they have no conscience? Is this the example they wanted to send to young people?
Who was I to judge them when I had my own secret to keep. My conscience was pained and I learned what was more acceptable for me to look at and what was not. I still wrestle with that. I admired their freedom and wished I felt so free. I was taking my secret to the grave. Still might. Only God and the angels would know. Despite my resolution I dreamed of having my own web page where I could share a corner of my furry world without ostracism or condemnation. But I would never take the risk and I would never have the nerve to do such a foolish thing.