Depressed right now, so can speak more bluntly.

I can't socialize. Not that I don't want to, but that I "can't". I always feel alone, and I hate it. The closest I ever had to proper.... 'romantic' relationships, one was online, and may have been either a lie, or they died of lung cancer, another was pretty good phsycially, but very damaging emotionally, and I have yet to get over it still, because I fell pretty hard for her but she hurt me badly, by not even caring at all, even after she acknowledged she hurt me, and there's plenty she *could* do, but nothing she *would* do. And I'm still angry about it.

It alwasy feels cold and alone, almsot painful. I hate seeing other people socialize and be couples because it's something I "don't get to have" and I end up feeling pathetic, and not worth knwoing, espeically when everybody's actions seem to say that they don't find the time worth taking to know me worth spending...

And the people who do care are so far away, I can hardly feel...