It's getting better. Lots better. I'm begginging to realize that I lost a bit of myself somewhere and got something bad. Somewhere in all the Highschool drama I said I didn't want. I got caught up in it too. I started that whining thing too. I need to stop doing it. Now. And I am. I have never been a whiner, and I don't want to be one now. So this is me admitting that I have a problem, and now we're moving forward.

Besides the me trying to be a better me kind of thing. I'm struggling to put my emotions into words again, and I'm afraid of saying it wrong or not saying it at all and that positively drives me insane that I care so damn much about these emotions. No this is not whining by the way. Just making a point. I am not an emotional person like I used to be. I try to disown emotions of affection especially, because I have been hurt a lot. For those of you that don't know that. So. I'm just now getting used to actually liking the feelings of love and affection for another again, and trust. Trust is something I've missed for a long time. *deep breath, smile* I like it. A lot.

"Maybe people liked to babble because the sound of there own voices was proof that they existed".

I will not be that person ever again. Ever. Again. I will not validate my own existance through others. Because I know I exist. I know I am real, and everyone elses opinion of me is cock and bull as long as I'm fucking happy.

And I'm fucking happy. :)

So out with the bad.

In with the new.

Out with some confessions, and hopefully he'll understand I'm doing the best I can with words.

<3Momo