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Man, I had wondered what had happened to this guy...
15 years ago
"MORELS taste good in omelettes..."
As usual, I'm behind the times...
I don't pay a lot of attention to everyone in my watch-list- I can't, there's too many folks! But I try to reply to anyone who actually wants to talk to me, and, I recall a time or two where I spoke to this individual who liked my art:
starblade
He seemed to have dropped off the map for a while, and I didn't really think much of it, since people drop out fairly regularly around here for all kinds of reasons.
But his 'disappearance" was something more. Poor nit got murdered- stabbed to death- by a supposed friend. Well, FUCK, what a way to go...
(that puts the count to three people I personally knew in this Fandom who have since died) *mope*
He was involved in some of the silliest drama-llama nonsense in this Fandom, but seemed to have mellowed out the last couple of years and was behaving well, from what I personally saw of him. I came into all of that way after the fact, so it didn't have any real impression on me, other than I saw that a lot of people had a bad habit of mocking him for his past mistakes. Yeah, he was kinda whiny and all about the self-pity, but, fuck, he was harmless... Maybe those assholes can get it through their narrow heads that people can change, and he was trying to do so. He was never anything but polite to me on my pages, anyway, the few times he popped up. No drama followed him here on my threads. In short, I had nothing but good to see of the guy.
Now, I understand that some didn't have as pleasant an experience- I'm not gonna go into detail, other than to say it was potentially jail-worthy stuff he should never have done, and I can understand the anger of the people he'd hurt- but the rude posts that have been the common response of many out there really piss me off. The man is DEAD, you cretins! He didn't just "pass away", he was violently attacked and died from his injuries days later! Imagine what his last moments must have been like- pain, fear, knowing that you're probably going to die, that someone who said they were your friend was behind it...
It's crass enough to mock someone for failings they might not be able to do much about (the lousy social-skills broken by Asperger's, his obsessiveness about certain people, which was likely because of the Asperger's, too), but to troll him after he's killed by someone he thought he could trust is fucking disgusting! At least one person has been banned for his trolling lack of decorum in this matter, and good riddance.
Whether you liked him or not, he was a well-known guy in the Furry Fandom, he was in my watch-list almost from the beginning of my time here and he was a member of a board I'm an Admin on.
I'm suspecting his death may have been behind the recent spate of avatars showing up here plastered over with a certain meme attributed to him. I'd wondered about the resurgence of those...
I've always gotten a chuckle out of FYIAD!, even though it had been thrown at him as a way to make fun of him and his... unconventional beliefs about himself, and I like using it to give a finger back to all the jerks in this Fandom and in the mundane world who like to bully others for being a little out there (or simply beyond their particularly low tolerance for batshit crazy of the harmless kind ):
"Fuck You, I'm A Dragon!"
Rest in peace, buddy.
I don't pay a lot of attention to everyone in my watch-list- I can't, there's too many folks! But I try to reply to anyone who actually wants to talk to me, and, I recall a time or two where I spoke to this individual who liked my art:
starbladeHe seemed to have dropped off the map for a while, and I didn't really think much of it, since people drop out fairly regularly around here for all kinds of reasons.
But his 'disappearance" was something more. Poor nit got murdered- stabbed to death- by a supposed friend. Well, FUCK, what a way to go...
(that puts the count to three people I personally knew in this Fandom who have since died) *mope*
He was involved in some of the silliest drama-llama nonsense in this Fandom, but seemed to have mellowed out the last couple of years and was behaving well, from what I personally saw of him. I came into all of that way after the fact, so it didn't have any real impression on me, other than I saw that a lot of people had a bad habit of mocking him for his past mistakes. Yeah, he was kinda whiny and all about the self-pity, but, fuck, he was harmless... Maybe those assholes can get it through their narrow heads that people can change, and he was trying to do so. He was never anything but polite to me on my pages, anyway, the few times he popped up. No drama followed him here on my threads. In short, I had nothing but good to see of the guy.
Now, I understand that some didn't have as pleasant an experience- I'm not gonna go into detail, other than to say it was potentially jail-worthy stuff he should never have done, and I can understand the anger of the people he'd hurt- but the rude posts that have been the common response of many out there really piss me off. The man is DEAD, you cretins! He didn't just "pass away", he was violently attacked and died from his injuries days later! Imagine what his last moments must have been like- pain, fear, knowing that you're probably going to die, that someone who said they were your friend was behind it...
It's crass enough to mock someone for failings they might not be able to do much about (the lousy social-skills broken by Asperger's, his obsessiveness about certain people, which was likely because of the Asperger's, too), but to troll him after he's killed by someone he thought he could trust is fucking disgusting! At least one person has been banned for his trolling lack of decorum in this matter, and good riddance.
Whether you liked him or not, he was a well-known guy in the Furry Fandom, he was in my watch-list almost from the beginning of my time here and he was a member of a board I'm an Admin on.
I'm suspecting his death may have been behind the recent spate of avatars showing up here plastered over with a certain meme attributed to him. I'd wondered about the resurgence of those...
I've always gotten a chuckle out of FYIAD!, even though it had been thrown at him as a way to make fun of him and his... unconventional beliefs about himself, and I like using it to give a finger back to all the jerks in this Fandom and in the mundane world who like to bully others for being a little out there (or simply beyond their particularly low tolerance for batshit crazy of the harmless kind ):
"Fuck You, I'm A Dragon!"
Rest in peace, buddy.
I HATE TROLLS... Fuckers.
*sigh*
Sides from that... it still does bite. Especially with all ye said.
Social problems, mostly, due to Asperger's Syndrome. One of the most insidious things about Asperger's is that you appear completely normal physically and intellectually. Aspies are often considered brighter than average... until they have to interact with other people- then they might misread the cues, or don't see them at all. Personal boundaries- physical closeness, over-enthusiastic hugs, touching without permission too often or too hard, knowing when to say something (and when not to), and a lack of eye-contact (which, I'm finding out, is really important to a lot of people. It makes me horribly uncomfortable, so I don't meet people's eyes- in my culture, it's considered rude, but it's seen as normal here to look in people's eyes, and it gets noticed when a person doesn't do that).
Another unfortunate aspect of Asperger's is the tendency to obsess over things or be overly focused on a single topic, or, in Starblade's case, people. He was accused of stalking several folks in the past, and he literally didn't understand that constantly trying to talk to them, messaging them, or imitating them was seen as rude at best, and creepy "I'm-gonna-have-yer-ass-arrested" at worst. After getting a lot of negative reactions to this, over several instances, he finally made the connection and was trying to break the habit. He had some issues with anger, depression (another common result of the social problems Asperger's causes), self-loathing and so on. He whined a lot about his sorry state, too- lots of self-pity and "poor me's"- rarely anything anyone would call attractive. It didn't help that people trolled him pretty much constantly for his behaviour, and he just couldn't shake the rep, no matter how hard he tried- and he WAS trying, but it was almost like he wasn't allowed to succeed. He had few positive reinforcements to stop the self-pitying whining, sadly.
In short, he was incredibly awkward, really bright, opinionated (but those opinions would change in a second, as he tried to figure out through trial and error the right "formula" for dealing with people), and more than a little confused by people- his life was what I would term hell with the constant mockery, rumours and drama, and no one seemed willing to leave him alone to sort his life out- they kept bringing up stuff from his past and would not let him have a fresh start. It's like he wasn't allowed to fix his problems, or learn from his mistakes- people kept badgering him about shit he did years ago, and never let him live it down to start over.
And then, as if the Universe hadn't laughed at him enough, to put the icing on his particular "cake", he gets murdered. Poor guy, had the worst luck, I swear...
*Points to self* I've got Asperger's Syndrome. I know exactly what he went through with the "pity me" phases. I, sadly, still end up going through those myself. Its really hard to try and get out of that sensation because you think something it right, only to end up having what you said come out completely wrong. *Shakes head*
Things might of really turned out differently for him if he did have some positive things in his life. I can truly attest to that as its my friends that have managed to keep me from falling off the path. Though a mental breakdown never helped any.
*Sighs* Sucks in really just so many ways. Not only that, it just almost makes me shiver in how easily I can relate. At least, I'd probably be able to feel more empathy, as I would love to, to actually feel worse about it. Just something else that can probably be thanked to the nice little mental disorder...
To me, this kind of thing should serve as a reminder not to be such assholes to folks who are "different", since we were once the pariahs, and it's doubly disgusting for us to do to others the kind of things that we suffered as kids. You know, I doubt the high-instance of Asperger's in our crowd could explain why we didn't learn from our own experiences- it's the so-called "norms" who trolled the awkward folks like Starblade.
May he get the breaks he didn't get here in his next life.
For all it's worth, since I didn't know the guy, "may your soul find rest, man. Wherever it is now, you deserve some peace in whatever awaits after life."
I mean, the guy wasn't exactly an angel, but I'm pretty sure, that because of his mental difficulties, he didn't entirely know what he was doing in most cases. I think the idea of "boundaries" never really got through- I understand that's a common problem with Asperger's Syndrome (yes, he really did have it). But the near-universal mockery and hatred is something I personally don't understand. I find it repugnant that people can't even leave the guy alone, now that he's dead- no, they fucking LAUGH. Assholes.
At least, since it's been over a month, now, the mockery seems to be fading and is being replaced by more pleasant messages.
*snuggles* sorry about the ranting, but this kind of thing really cheeses me off. It's so CRASS. I realize it's over for most folks (fucking five-minute attention-spans), but I only just found out today.
Why are you apologising for ranting? *smiles* This is me, remember? I feel the same way as you. And I never knew the chap... but it's all just so... just so stupid, and pointless.
*tailsqueezes*
*squeezes back, gently*
Like crocdile hunter you know hes dead [stupid stingray] But watch his shows and movies he shows in its wierd. thats the kind of feeling im getting when i visted his page XD
He got perma-banned for extremely douchebaggery behaviour, which was completely unacceptable, as well as generalised trolling.
I feel outrage, sympathy, and just simple sadness that this guy never seemed to have a chance.
Starblade had his problems, but I think he could have worked on them, given the time. He was only 26, after all- Aspies can be slow bloomers in the social-skills departments (heck, I was, and I don't even have any sort of Autism-spectrum disorder, to my knowledge), and he was sincerely working on things. The thing that burns me is that some couldn't allow him to fix his issues, instead continually ragging him over stuff he'd done in the past. Even Palsifer, the girl he supposedly stalked, is disgusted by the things people have been saying about him. Her, the one person who might actually have reason to be glad he's gone! If she can go at least that far toward forgiving Starblade, why the feck can't other people do so too?
[/rant] Sorry. *huggles*