It's been a difficult two weeks so far. Contacting a public trustee due to no will, going through all the belongings, clearing the house out, looking for where I will live next and more. I haven't slept properly for that time.

I'm kind of broken at the moment.

It still isn't hitting me yet. It just doesn't feel real. Even though I was the one who originally pronounced her dead. I can still see her lying there.

After being run ragged for two weeks, I am now in California with my somewhat controlling father and stepmother. I'm meant to be resting these holidays but it may not end up that way. Especially with little or no privacy.

I guess it just doesn't seem real. She had a wonderful funeral and wake, and that was it. Nothing else changed. It's like we went through the motion and quickly shrugged things off.

I dunno what will happen long term. I'm still fairly miserable, even if I can't show it. I think it's because I feel I should have kept her alive.

Thanks to eeryone for their support. It's helping keeping me sane.