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D&D 4th Ed
15 years ago
General
Inane Rambling of a Demented Predator
D&D 4th Ed. Quite a good day for quotes
Murray,GM : With the Feast of Corellon and the Feywild coming up every Wizard, Warlock and Druid...
Rumbaba : ... and long-haired hippie
Murray,GM : ... who can get a few days off is going to spend the week talking shop, brewing potions and showing off spells. This means most *sane* people move out of the county for the holidays, but give it 1500 years and people will consider it a popular festival.
Rumbaba : And everybody will complain it isn't like the old days.
Murray,GM : ... and according to rumour there's a troop of secret police working for the Sheriff
Tarmikos : I'm not secret police!
Rumbaba : And I'm hardly inconspicuous!
Tarmikos : BANGBANGBANG Open up!
Arjhan the Dragonborn : Who's there?
Rumbaba : ... the secret police...
Tarmikos : We would like a word with you.
Rumbaba : ...comrade...
Rumbaba : We told them to keep the race riots to a minimum.
Murray,GM : ...and you found out that he'd been having an affair with the cook across the road.
Rumbaba : Can't say I blame him. Nice hips.
Blatant sizism continues to plague Rumbaba
Rumbaba : *singing softly* Short people got - no reason to liiiiive
Murray,GM : *on Dave's Bushido character* He survived a seven-day battle, made it to second level, rode back to the castle to report, fell off his horse and drowned.
Rumbaba : Yes, you goblin is more immaculately dressed than the elf. And better bathed.
Adrie the Druid : I'm all for hunting humans. It's hunting animals I draw the line at.
Arjhan : Let me get this straight... The Sheriff's men are all for protecting animals and monsters?
Murray,GM : Yes, it does sound like a meeting of PETA
Rumbaba : People for the Ethical Treatment of Aberrations
Hope : I was raised by dwarves.
Arjhan : What?! A Tiefling Paladin of Pelor raised by dwarves??
Rumbaba : He's joking. Although I do recall a boy that was raised by limpets. Sadly, he drowned at the first high tide.
Murray,GM : I heard a police sergeant once who would send his constables in to break up bar fights and throw the combatants out into the street, so he could throw them into the paddywagon. Once he missed and the bloke bounced off and dented the door. So he charged him with damaging police property.
Rumbaba : None of us are experts on post-dead citizens
Murray,GM : The eladrin steps through a portal in the air and closes it behind him.
Hope : That's mildly impressive.
Murray,GM : A voice hangs in the air... "...only mildly???..."
Rumbaba : Does the message arrive by pigeon?
Murray,GM : No?
Rumbaba : Ah. Not Twitter then.
Murray,GM : No, druids use Twitter.
Hope : Wizards use the magic mirror network, MyFace.
Murray,GM : The moonshine-making ranger was a Half-elf.
Rumbaba : Ah, so was he making wood elf alcohol?
Murray,GM : *headdesk*
Rumbaba : No wonder he died
Rumbaba : I'm off buying basic dungeoneering gear - torches, ropes, spikes... Dynamite... Bat-repellant...
Tarmikos : Do you know the funerary rituals of Bahamut?
Rumbaba : No, but if you hum a few bars I'll join in
Murray,GM : They were carrying longswords, a longbow, and spears.
Rumbaba : Given all of those are taller than me, help yourself.
Tarmikos : Which way is the wind burning?
Murray,GM : Burning?
Tarmikos : Blowing.
Rumbaba : If the air was on fire we'ld have bigger problems.
Rumbaba : I really should have brought a net, shouldn't I?
Tarmikos : No, I don't think she would have helped.
Murray,GM : So do you changely into a male or shemale Dire Wolf?
Adrie : Shemale.
Rumbaba : Shemale?!?
Murray,GM : Who's going first?
Arjhan : I volunteer the guy in heavy armour
Rumbaba : I'm carrying a torch.
Murray,GM : And who are you carrying a torch for, you romantic goblin you?
Rumbaba : Well, I still miss the Goliath
The group continue to get kobolds, gnomes, and goblins confused. Attacked by giant centipedes...
Arjhan : I target the scorpion on the left.
Rumbaba : CENTIPEDE! CENTIPEDE. What is with this group and basic taxonomy?
Murray,GM : With the Feast of Corellon and the Feywild coming up every Wizard, Warlock and Druid...
Rumbaba : ... and long-haired hippie
Murray,GM : ... who can get a few days off is going to spend the week talking shop, brewing potions and showing off spells. This means most *sane* people move out of the county for the holidays, but give it 1500 years and people will consider it a popular festival.
Rumbaba : And everybody will complain it isn't like the old days.
Murray,GM : ... and according to rumour there's a troop of secret police working for the Sheriff
Tarmikos : I'm not secret police!
Rumbaba : And I'm hardly inconspicuous!
Tarmikos : BANGBANGBANG Open up!
Arjhan the Dragonborn : Who's there?
Rumbaba : ... the secret police...
Tarmikos : We would like a word with you.
Rumbaba : ...comrade...
Rumbaba : We told them to keep the race riots to a minimum.
Murray,GM : ...and you found out that he'd been having an affair with the cook across the road.
Rumbaba : Can't say I blame him. Nice hips.
Blatant sizism continues to plague Rumbaba
Rumbaba : *singing softly* Short people got - no reason to liiiiive
Murray,GM : *on Dave's Bushido character* He survived a seven-day battle, made it to second level, rode back to the castle to report, fell off his horse and drowned.
Rumbaba : Yes, you goblin is more immaculately dressed than the elf. And better bathed.
Adrie the Druid : I'm all for hunting humans. It's hunting animals I draw the line at.
Arjhan : Let me get this straight... The Sheriff's men are all for protecting animals and monsters?
Murray,GM : Yes, it does sound like a meeting of PETA
Rumbaba : People for the Ethical Treatment of Aberrations
Hope : I was raised by dwarves.
Arjhan : What?! A Tiefling Paladin of Pelor raised by dwarves??
Rumbaba : He's joking. Although I do recall a boy that was raised by limpets. Sadly, he drowned at the first high tide.
Murray,GM : I heard a police sergeant once who would send his constables in to break up bar fights and throw the combatants out into the street, so he could throw them into the paddywagon. Once he missed and the bloke bounced off and dented the door. So he charged him with damaging police property.
Rumbaba : None of us are experts on post-dead citizens
Murray,GM : The eladrin steps through a portal in the air and closes it behind him.
Hope : That's mildly impressive.
Murray,GM : A voice hangs in the air... "...only mildly???..."
Rumbaba : Does the message arrive by pigeon?
Murray,GM : No?
Rumbaba : Ah. Not Twitter then.
Murray,GM : No, druids use Twitter.
Hope : Wizards use the magic mirror network, MyFace.
Murray,GM : The moonshine-making ranger was a Half-elf.
Rumbaba : Ah, so was he making wood elf alcohol?
Murray,GM : *headdesk*
Rumbaba : No wonder he died
Rumbaba : I'm off buying basic dungeoneering gear - torches, ropes, spikes... Dynamite... Bat-repellant...
Tarmikos : Do you know the funerary rituals of Bahamut?
Rumbaba : No, but if you hum a few bars I'll join in
Murray,GM : They were carrying longswords, a longbow, and spears.
Rumbaba : Given all of those are taller than me, help yourself.
Tarmikos : Which way is the wind burning?
Murray,GM : Burning?
Tarmikos : Blowing.
Rumbaba : If the air was on fire we'ld have bigger problems.
Rumbaba : I really should have brought a net, shouldn't I?
Tarmikos : No, I don't think she would have helped.
Murray,GM : So do you changely into a male or shemale Dire Wolf?
Adrie : Shemale.
Rumbaba : Shemale?!?
Murray,GM : Who's going first?
Arjhan : I volunteer the guy in heavy armour
Rumbaba : I'm carrying a torch.
Murray,GM : And who are you carrying a torch for, you romantic goblin you?
Rumbaba : Well, I still miss the Goliath
The group continue to get kobolds, gnomes, and goblins confused. Attacked by giant centipedes...
Arjhan : I target the scorpion on the left.
Rumbaba : CENTIPEDE! CENTIPEDE. What is with this group and basic taxonomy?
Billy, GM: So while you're sailing as fast as you can towards the coast, you see dark shadowy figures in the water around your boat.
Brandis the Cleric: Shit, they're in the water too? We throw the children overboard to distract them!
Billy, GM: Children?? Well, okay... they take the bait, and you make it safely to shore.
Morg the Warforged (Me): Next time, sacrifice the older ones. Children are more useful for labor.
Brandis the Cleric: Thank you for telling me that AFTER the fact!
One could developa scenario around that!
My Gnoll Ranger character given the choice of Favorite Prey, picked Elf. And I wrote into my character history, preferred delicacy, elf steak and elf stew.
Later, gaining levels and getting a second Favorite Prey, I got more promiscous: Human. Sometime into the adventure I brought the tavernkeeper a big piece of meat, paid him handsomely then told him to season and roast it for me into a finest steak and not ask any questions.
Fellow gnolls called me weird for all these cousine fancies, instead of preferring my meal to scream and curse me while being consumed.
Although I guess I(the gnoll) could cook one without mutilating the corpse. Without making it a corpse even. At least till it dies from being cooked. And it's really hard to eat something without mutilating it in the process... but I don't consider it disrespectful to eat someone.
*laughs* never boring, and always enlightening:)
we should start our own game to bring you quotes:P