Ever have a sinking feeling one has been lead on and lied to naw....never right whichever

I'm fast approaching the mark for gaining an apprenticeship mind you the paperwork and all that jazz is becoming more and more of a pain and reminding me more and more that I feel like I'm trapped in some dingy office then a kitchen.


once again on the prowl for an apartment but eh to each there own.

still have this one girl chasing my tail wanting to date me

the current mood of silent is not ready and most likely never will be ready for another relationship.

I've had a lot of time to think a lot of time to grow and a lot to appreciate from what I have had in the past year or so.

I hold no regret just hold a lot of memories full of joy and saddness

don't get me wrong I'm half arsely in a bum mood knowing the Christmas season is fast approaching and yes this will be the first Christmas with out my father around should even further correct that statement it's fast approaching a year that he has been gone and nobody in my family has even bothered thinking about a headstone for his grave.


In all hardships comes a test of strength for the mind body and soul

this whole year and a half for me has been a system of trails

a system of joys and sorrows


all of which have helped me grow I don't regret anything in this past year and a half

I know i didn't put in further detail about apartment hunting again.....lets say the least I can't be a basement hermit forever can I ? besides for some odd reason I am more my self when really not around that much family >.< go figure it's odd yes I adore and love my family to pieces but I tend to trip over my own feet when around them.

Mind you they provide many good laughs like my aunts lighting a pumpkin on fire during halloween yes...you read that right my nearly 80 year old aunts decided they wanted to see what a pumpkin would like on fire.


anyways enough rambling got much to do today