I had it (sorta). I lost it.

I can't draw anymore, I've tried for hours, every few weeks I will SIT DOWN and try to draw something. I try a hundred versions of the same picture, abandon the concept, and try something new. Nothing ever comes out right.

I want to forfeit, and then I do briefly, revisit and the same thing happens. It's frustrating.

I even tried sketching, with a pencil on paper, thinking I just needed to try what I used to love doing when I was younger. I opened an old sketchbook and saw that nothing has changed, and just that in my back of my mind nags me.. why bother?

I think I've just grown up and out of it. This isn't my thang anymore. Shame..the things I wanted to create are stuck inside, and will never come out. Time to terminate. I barely even check out the art of the artists I watch anymore except for the few comics & absolute faves..

I have fallen out of love with the furry art & culture, and it's now time to break up. The times we had were lovely, exciting, embarrassing, funny, addictive, but now it's a chore to log in, save for the few places I still lurk (and only lurk) I have changed, and so have you, furry. The last few years I felt like I was searching for something here, but I don't know what it is, and I haven't found it, obviously.

i could disappear, but I could also come back, we'll see.. I've been gone well over a year anyway, and the only way it's happening again is if I completely transformed and with the inability to even put strokes to paper that please me, it's going to be one very VERY difficult change.

Thanks for the favorites, comments and few friendships. I got a crazy life to keep up with.

/wraps up tablet & puts in the bottom art drawer.



DeeCee