I dont know what my head is doing anymore.
I try to think about what i want, and how things are.. it just hurts. seems im only clear minded when i have no thoughts at all..

I know what i feel, i know what i want. but it seems that things beyond my control say no.. that i cant do or have those things.. but without saying no. I'm left to wonder, which hurts my head more. i just want to know how it ends. my thoughts, my visions of what are and what could be, they all lie to me.

I cant find the truth, not even in my own imagination.
I feel so isolated and left alone.
What do i do?
I dont know how to just let things happen without my head hurting. i feel like im supposed to be doing something, i just dont know what.