I hate everything. I hate to do a bawwwww journal.

My dad threw a remote control at my head tonight while I was on my lunch break (I work from home).

Couldn't stop crying during calls to clients, so I finally gave up and asked to go home early.

Told mom it's him or me - if he doesn't get into therapy and on medication, the whole family's cut off for good.

Finally told her that my brother used to sexually abuse me when she wasn't home and Dad knew it was going on and didn't stop it.

What did I expect from her? Rage? A decision that would change her comfortable life for my well-being?

God, am I still this stupid after living with these people for 26 years?

The only reason I'm here at this point is that I can't find roommates, and I can't afford my own place. I can't even remotely afford my own place. I make $9/hour before taxes and I have over $500/mo in bills and student loans.

I'm getting desperate.

...but if he doesn't get in therapy, I'll find a way to cut them out of my life. I've got friends in other states offering to put me up. The move would suck ass, but my mental health is more important to me than letting my fucking dysfunctional family continue pretending to be normal now.

Soooo bawwwwwwwwww everything sucks right now.

Hey, it has to get better eventually. I think I only have a few more feet til rock bottom.