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15 years ago
General
♥ 
Hey guys,
I would like to share some of what's going on right now.
There's a final project due in 2 weeks, it consists of a game, with proper game play, mechanics and what not.
Allow me to say this also! I am a Programmer, a coder, a logical soulless creature. In the meaning that I am not an visual artist,what I want to say that I do not want to be an artist for a living, reasons?
Art is a hobby for me, art was to express some things I wanted to, art is still one of the things that comes rarely to me, and there's a reason why I do not draw anymore, only once in a while... Art was a way of coping with a void, I so remarkably spent day and night drawing just to make my perfect world something tangible, intimate and somewhat innocent.
Ever since I got to be with Ruick, my life has changed drastically, in two meanings, I no longer required to draw to fill a void, I no longer had close friends for some weird reason. Am I at fault for not being social? I once actually tried to explain why I didn't want to go to IMs.
I didn't want to get expose again to what happened after I came to Canada, that's gonna be almost 3 years ago now.
Do I miss how it was before? yes I do, I used to wonder if it was easy for them to let me go like that, after all, bonds are hard to break, no?
I must confess though, I don't make many phone calls, I never check my email, I always ponder about sending a message to someone, feeling that I am guilty for the disconnection but I never end up doing so, and then I keep thinking, what about the other end? are they tired of waiting for something or they just simply can't be bother?
It is a lonely thought, and here I am, trying to implement code into my life, trying to be logical about things, wondering if this is going somewhere.
Some things will just stay with me, and I grow up a little bit a day, I do not regret things cause you always get the best of everything that happens to you, or to somebody else, but sometimes you wish you just could go back and don't really have to learn what you have, or at least apply something you have recently learn to make things different, but maybe that's also not the best solution, and goes on and on.
Right now, I would like to fix things but I just can't find the way, so I will just go in my life, and try to make my old man proud, my mom happy, help Ruick with his promise and in the way figure out as I keep learning.
So what I wanted to explain is that, I am busy with college, like... a lot. Oh and also why I am never around~ cya guys.
I would like to share some of what's going on right now.
There's a final project due in 2 weeks, it consists of a game, with proper game play, mechanics and what not.
Allow me to say this also! I am a Programmer, a coder, a logical soulless creature. In the meaning that I am not an visual artist,what I want to say that I do not want to be an artist for a living, reasons?
Art is a hobby for me, art was to express some things I wanted to, art is still one of the things that comes rarely to me, and there's a reason why I do not draw anymore, only once in a while... Art was a way of coping with a void, I so remarkably spent day and night drawing just to make my perfect world something tangible, intimate and somewhat innocent.
Ever since I got to be with Ruick, my life has changed drastically, in two meanings, I no longer required to draw to fill a void, I no longer had close friends for some weird reason. Am I at fault for not being social? I once actually tried to explain why I didn't want to go to IMs.
I didn't want to get expose again to what happened after I came to Canada, that's gonna be almost 3 years ago now.
Do I miss how it was before? yes I do, I used to wonder if it was easy for them to let me go like that, after all, bonds are hard to break, no?
I must confess though, I don't make many phone calls, I never check my email, I always ponder about sending a message to someone, feeling that I am guilty for the disconnection but I never end up doing so, and then I keep thinking, what about the other end? are they tired of waiting for something or they just simply can't be bother?
It is a lonely thought, and here I am, trying to implement code into my life, trying to be logical about things, wondering if this is going somewhere.
Some things will just stay with me, and I grow up a little bit a day, I do not regret things cause you always get the best of everything that happens to you, or to somebody else, but sometimes you wish you just could go back and don't really have to learn what you have, or at least apply something you have recently learn to make things different, but maybe that's also not the best solution, and goes on and on.
Right now, I would like to fix things but I just can't find the way, so I will just go in my life, and try to make my old man proud, my mom happy, help Ruick with his promise and in the way figure out as I keep learning.
So what I wanted to explain is that, I am busy with college, like... a lot. Oh and also why I am never around~ cya guys.
I write because I'm hoping one day one of my stories will happen to me
:D I'm so happy for you Jake >.< I'll miss your drawings, but I do wish you the best of luck with all the decisions that you're going to make and all the stuff you're going to do and your cat :D
It was nice having you around, check in with us once in a while...
Not leaving! haha~
Thank you though, I am just going to be posting like every month or so? working on college stuff mostly.
But best of luck to you in life <3
though, i'm not so skilled, i love to draw & found that it's something i would love to learn more about and pursue.
i want to draw for a living someday and be able to tell the stories i always wished i could.
But i understand what you mean
we all gotta do what's best and what makes us happy :)
Good luck! and best wishes and happy holidays!
Enjoy your holidays ^^
I would like to fix things but I just can't find the way
Don't try to find, just follow the wave and it'll come to you. Happy holidays c:
I wish you the best holidays ^^
are they tired of waiting for something or they just simply can't be bother?
I don't know if my personal feelings would shed any light on it, since I don't know if what I say or do is applicable to anyone you are referencing with this sentence here. But, what I do know is that for someone like me, it's merely because of a fear of rejection for a number of reasons:
-Fear of bothering or annoying the individual when messaging them
-Fear of acting like an idiot
-Fear of sounding like a raving fanboy
-Shyness / inability to initiate
Maybe its the same for a lot of the people you talk to? I wouldn't know, I don't know them. But I think for any of the friends or family who really care about you, they'd probably never get tired of waiting for something (if they did, they'd likely message you if they are good family / friends), and if they can't be bothered... well, then they're not good friends / family right?
If you want to fix things, don't force them. Let things come naturally and take any opportunities you can to try and fix the things you want fixed. Just do your best, bud!
Sorry to totally steal your thunder there Jake. Shame you're not around as much but at least you pop on every now and then, right? :3
Best of luck with your college stuff and happy holidays! :)
it will be alright anyways, and no problems with stealing thunders X3!
I would like to be on a lot more, I will try to pop out once in a while for sure =]
thanks for all bud!
I remember back when you wanted to pursue art and you said I inspired you to become an animator, but that didn't go over very well. It's nice to hear that you're excelling in what you were originally gifted at(aside from music).
I miss those conversations too ya know? you silly... still! what's funny right now is that I am doing all the animations for the game... <<~~
Programming is a lot easier for me, drawing for a living would just drain me, doesn't mean I can't get better at it.
and yes, your animations were fantastic and a source of inspiration for me to go ahead, in a way, thanks to that now I am a well rounded game developer =]
I will say hi once in a while, you should too :p
en cuanto a lo gente que se pierde el contacto.,.yo tampoco lo entiendo. A veces digo que es mi culpa por no contactarlos pero y ellos que? porque no lo intentan tambien? porque es siempre es uno el que debe dar todo?
no se bufalito :p la vida es algo extrania(no tengo enie!) para todos.
Cuidate =]