You know, sometimes, I just want to ask what's the point? Is there a limit as to how many good things can happen to you, then you fill up your "good things" meter, and then you start to lose some of your past good things? Is Karma just out to get everybody? Does God just sit up on his celestial throne and laugh at all us pathetic humans and our measly attempts to attain happiness? Is anything fair anymore? Was anything ever fair? Why do I keep asking all these questions? Will this many questions bore my minuscule amount of readers? I just don't know. Let's just say some things have happened the past couple of days, some good, some bad, some i have no f*ucking idea as to how to classify them. The good things I'm happy and grateful for. It's the bad things, well, thing, that has happened that has me the most puzzled. Examining all of my past experiences, all of my past dealings with people, all of my mistakes, you would find that at this point in time, I should be angry, nay, furious, but I'm not. Why is that? Could it be that I have somehow changed completely in these last couple of months? Could it be that someone has changed me these past couple of months, that my entire outlook on life has changed, fragmented, and reformed? After everything that has happened, I just don't know anymore. Is it so bad to wish for things to go back to a simpler time, when everyone around you was happy? Now that I say that, I don't know that I want things to go back the way they were. I wouldn't be who I am today without everything I've been through, and frankly, though I'm not happy, I like the way I am right now. Yes, I'd like for things to be easy again, but at what cost? Is losing everything I have, everything I've gained worth the way things were? And who knows? Things soon to come may be better than what I've already had, so is there even a point for this journal? Who knows? But all i know is, life's a bitch, and you're not gonna like half of the things in it, but the few things that you do get that are worth it, truly are worth cherishing.

-Awen