My memories are fading as of late and I don't know what to do anymore.

I think I've lost my family, the only people I could really rely on to help me through this. I may be wrong, I hope I'm wrong.

The one I thought I loved has pretty much shunned me from existence, not so much as even talks to me like a normal person anymore.

Everything anyone says to me anymore feels like a knife wound, and with each word they bury that knife deeper and deeper into my heart. I've fallen in love with my best friend and he doesn't even see it.

I can't sleep anymore, i can't eat anymore, I can't even think straight anymore. I think I'm dying. Each day is pretty much a fight with anyone I know, and I always lose the battles.

All the happiness in my life I can't even recall, the only things I can remember are the pain and hurt everyone has caused me all my life. I try to smile and to keep going, but what's the use? Why do I need to keep going? Even as I sit here and cry as I write this, no one even gives me a passing glance, no words of comfort or even asking if I'm okay.

I'm alone, I'm cold. I'll say what so many other people are afraid to say.

I. just. Want. To. Die.

I'm not going to commit suicide, of that you can be sure. I'm not going to take the easy way out but I'm dying from the inside out. I don't know how much longer I'll last, or when the day will come when I go to sleep and never wake up again. The search to find even a glimpse of happiness has failed. -The snow paxsky curls up in a tight ball of sorrow and weeps quietly-

....They say everyones life is what they make it...Does that mean I fucked up somewhere..?