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Slump.
18 years ago
Motivationto do anything has left. I barely manage to force myself to go to school. I'm so tired of struggling. I need a vacation from hell before I go back to teh stage of begging for death. (I'm too big a wimp to actually kill myself). As soon as things start getting better, it's like a thousand alarms go off and everyone jumps to screw it up. I want to scream, I want to crawl in a dark corner 'n hide, and yet I don't want to be alone.The stress has brought back my chest pains. The depression drives me to my mother and yet her habit of smoking keeps me away because it adds to the pain in chest and maks me short of breath. I'm tired of complaining, tired of having things to complain about. I'm sick of getting asked 'how was your week?' at school and ducking my head so I dun draw pity to myself. It's getting out of control and I dun know how to stop it. I can't wait to get away. Just go and relax. To have even a moment where I don't have to stress or worry or fight off depression because of this house. I can't draw, though i'm trying. I've been pouring myself away into nothing but I want to be doing something productive.
Tonigts drama:
The bastard I ranted about earlier just crossed the line. He threatened my mother, and my best friend. The one I love more than anything and the only chick who's been there to encourage me to pursue my dream.
He's spreading lies about my mother. He's trying to be th man of the house. I hate it. He's NOT my father, and he has NO rights to be wher he's trying to be. If he keeps it up, he's gonna bring out my nasty side and my REAL father is gonna hear all the crap I've been storing up. I've given him a chance and whenever I see him next, he'll get a nice little warning. I'll take up my brothers technique. Give hell with a smile on my face *smiles sweetly*
He pushed it when he told the other pig we live with that my mother was ""lucky"" he didn't grab her by the hair and smack some sense into her.
my best friend was ""lucky"" he didn't grab her by the hair ad put her in her "place".
I don't hate people. But god do I friggen hate this guy with a passion.
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE!!!!
My bro might be let out of prison in a matter of days!
I'm excited. I missed him a lot!
Maybe when he gets back, things'll get better.
Tonigts drama:
The bastard I ranted about earlier just crossed the line. He threatened my mother, and my best friend. The one I love more than anything and the only chick who's been there to encourage me to pursue my dream.
He's spreading lies about my mother. He's trying to be th man of the house. I hate it. He's NOT my father, and he has NO rights to be wher he's trying to be. If he keeps it up, he's gonna bring out my nasty side and my REAL father is gonna hear all the crap I've been storing up. I've given him a chance and whenever I see him next, he'll get a nice little warning. I'll take up my brothers technique. Give hell with a smile on my face *smiles sweetly*
He pushed it when he told the other pig we live with that my mother was ""lucky"" he didn't grab her by the hair and smack some sense into her.
my best friend was ""lucky"" he didn't grab her by the hair ad put her in her "place".
I don't hate people. But god do I friggen hate this guy with a passion.
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE!!!!
My bro might be let out of prison in a matter of days!
I'm excited. I missed him a lot!
Maybe when he gets back, things'll get better.
