FA+
Shop
40K will never be the same again
15 years ago
General
Inane Rambling of a Demented Predator
Started a third campaign, with the same GM as the D&D, and two of the players from the Cthulhu. It's a Dark Heresy game, the Warhammer 40K universe. It's also a prime example of why you don't let your players come up with the background.
Based on a few random rolls for inspiration, the PCs homeworld was an icy lifeless desert, with a few arcologies clustered around the polar icecaps. It's also a Shrineworld, dedicated to the worship of one of the Heroes of the Imperium. What did this hero do? *rolls some more* Drove off the Eldar.
Aaaand this was when Murray started getting his migraine. Because on the basis of these rolls, the saint is clearly St Nikolas, who thousands of years ago drove the vile elves from the North Pole and lead Humanity to it's triumph on this icy world Kringle. And on behalf of the Emperor on Holy Terra, St Nikolas watches everything we do. If you're on the Good list you get lumps of coal. It's a very cold planet, after all. If you're on the Bad list you get frag grenades, sans pins. Among the holy relics of the saint are a pair of Lightning Claws. You probably don't want to know what we came up with for ceremonial regalia or the fighting songs of the planet's Imperial Guard regiments.
Anyway, most of this is background because the planet in question was recently annexed by the Tau Empire, and the population sent to reeducation camps before transferal to resettlement townships on a world deep inside Tau territory. The three PCs are among the POWs - one army tech, by the name of Rosenkrantz. One lobotomised commissar/preacher by the name of Guildenstern. And at this point I decided why fight it, and named my own noble-born cleric Polonius.
The lobotomised preacher is being played by my brother Ian, elsewhere known as Suna, or as Mandible, or as Paddy McGinty. This is all the warning you should require.
Brother Guildenstern : Onward, Men of Kringle! Remember the sacred example of Saint Nikolas as he led the fight against the wicked Xenos scum! Onward! Never surrender! Never falter! The eye of the Emperor is upon you, through his vessel Saint Nikolas!
Brother Polonius : *sighs* And the sad thing is he's saying all this to a flock of chickens.
Brother Polonius : We have to wonder just how much of his brain they removed. I'm picturing a tiny little alien sitting in his skull, operating a joystick.
Brother Polonius OOC : You don't have to be a flagellant, Brother Guildenstern. You punish the rest of us enough, just by existing.
Brother Polonius : Now now, Brother Guildenstern, we've been through this before. Of course the Emperor and Saint Nikolas talk to you through the skull of your predecessor. But what do we do first? We check your hand, remember? See everything we wrote down? Yes, I know number 2 is 'Kill All Xenos' but we don't have to do that right now.
Based on a few random rolls for inspiration, the PCs homeworld was an icy lifeless desert, with a few arcologies clustered around the polar icecaps. It's also a Shrineworld, dedicated to the worship of one of the Heroes of the Imperium. What did this hero do? *rolls some more* Drove off the Eldar.
Aaaand this was when Murray started getting his migraine. Because on the basis of these rolls, the saint is clearly St Nikolas, who thousands of years ago drove the vile elves from the North Pole and lead Humanity to it's triumph on this icy world Kringle. And on behalf of the Emperor on Holy Terra, St Nikolas watches everything we do. If you're on the Good list you get lumps of coal. It's a very cold planet, after all. If you're on the Bad list you get frag grenades, sans pins. Among the holy relics of the saint are a pair of Lightning Claws. You probably don't want to know what we came up with for ceremonial regalia or the fighting songs of the planet's Imperial Guard regiments.
Anyway, most of this is background because the planet in question was recently annexed by the Tau Empire, and the population sent to reeducation camps before transferal to resettlement townships on a world deep inside Tau territory. The three PCs are among the POWs - one army tech, by the name of Rosenkrantz. One lobotomised commissar/preacher by the name of Guildenstern. And at this point I decided why fight it, and named my own noble-born cleric Polonius.
The lobotomised preacher is being played by my brother Ian, elsewhere known as Suna, or as Mandible, or as Paddy McGinty. This is all the warning you should require.
Brother Guildenstern : Onward, Men of Kringle! Remember the sacred example of Saint Nikolas as he led the fight against the wicked Xenos scum! Onward! Never surrender! Never falter! The eye of the Emperor is upon you, through his vessel Saint Nikolas!
Brother Polonius : *sighs* And the sad thing is he's saying all this to a flock of chickens.
Brother Polonius : We have to wonder just how much of his brain they removed. I'm picturing a tiny little alien sitting in his skull, operating a joystick.
Brother Polonius OOC : You don't have to be a flagellant, Brother Guildenstern. You punish the rest of us enough, just by existing.
Brother Polonius : Now now, Brother Guildenstern, we've been through this before. Of course the Emperor and Saint Nikolas talk to you through the skull of your predecessor. But what do we do first? We check your hand, remember? See everything we wrote down? Yes, I know number 2 is 'Kill All Xenos' but we don't have to do that right now.
