i feel so much better than i used to right around now. i am relieved that i can be so honest with myself and those around me. I mean the people in real life... i have always been honest with people here, if i really know you. i told 2 people about why i ended up the way i am and they accepted it. i thought they would be upset. i thought they would shun me but they didnt. i wish i would have done this a long time ago like my bunny said i should. i just wanted to leave my "baddness" in the past, but accepting the past is living in the now. it makes way for the future, and it feels great. i have to be careful going forward, but i know that not all people, dispite how close they are to me, are untrustworthy... it is kinda nice.

i think i am starting to let it go.. i also havent relapsed. my bunny is more understanding than ever and i have internal backup now too. i feel so much better. i think i am going to be ok... i will just grieve when i need too and live on, the way they all wanted me to do....it is just that simple.

i know i may be unwell, but i am going to be healthy. though i will never be normal, i will be healthy as i can... and to all those who are normal out there THERE ARE ALMOST MORE OF US THAN THERE ARE OF YOU AND WE WILL RULE SOMEDAY HAHAHAHA!

but seriously thank you to all that read this... i think i will be ok. sorry if i was a whiner.. it is hard.