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Sorry
15 years ago
General
Everyone... I'm sorry.
I don't know where to begin. But my parents for weeks now have been telling me over and over that I have a problem with Internet addiction. I guess I knew that I did but I didn't want to do anything about it. IRL I have... maybe five or six friends, and I was lonely. I guess being in the fandom here made me feel good. Not to mention the sex. But...
Veedway told it to me straight.
I didn't treat hir right, I haven't been treating my family right, and I haven't been treating any of you right. Everyone wants to roleplay with me, everyone wants me to draw for them, and I can't cope with it. I ignored all my real, true friends, who were there from the beginning, in favor of cheap one-night-roleplays and sucking up to well-known artists in the hope of becoming more popular.
On the internet I guess I really didn't understand that behind each of your fursonas there was a real, breathing person who cared for me. I didn't understand that with Vee, and I lost a dear friend and an even dearer mate. Todd, Lita, David, Verda... everyone... I've been ignoring you all, and none of you deserve that. I'm not good enough for any of you.
If any of you have advice beyond "SORRY RYKELA" or "HURRY BACK" I'd love to hear it. I need something beyond that level at this point. I don't care what - if you want to yell, if you want to lecture, even sympathy! I don't care! Just none of this murry stuff. It's bad for me. I'm not going to roleplay sexually anymore. Don't ask me for it. Don't ask me for free art! I'll draw what I want, when I want. Now that I've said that I don't blame any of you if you're not willing to forgive me. I left you all behind so I guess it'd be fitting for me to get left behind.
I think I need to take a break from FA. I need to take a break from drawing furry art. Forget the adoptables. Forget any roleplays. If I owe you a drawing, I'm sorry. I don't think I can handle it right now. I just... I think I'll just try and focus on my schoolwork and my real life. I don't know if I can do it, but I have to try. Good luck, everyone, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, a million times I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do or say that can fix this...
I don't know when I'll be back. I don't know IF I'll be back. I love the fandom, but... it's an unhealthy obsession, plain and simple.
I don't know where to begin. But my parents for weeks now have been telling me over and over that I have a problem with Internet addiction. I guess I knew that I did but I didn't want to do anything about it. IRL I have... maybe five or six friends, and I was lonely. I guess being in the fandom here made me feel good. Not to mention the sex. But...
Veedway told it to me straight.I didn't treat hir right, I haven't been treating my family right, and I haven't been treating any of you right. Everyone wants to roleplay with me, everyone wants me to draw for them, and I can't cope with it. I ignored all my real, true friends, who were there from the beginning, in favor of cheap one-night-roleplays and sucking up to well-known artists in the hope of becoming more popular.
On the internet I guess I really didn't understand that behind each of your fursonas there was a real, breathing person who cared for me. I didn't understand that with Vee, and I lost a dear friend and an even dearer mate. Todd, Lita, David, Verda... everyone... I've been ignoring you all, and none of you deserve that. I'm not good enough for any of you.
If any of you have advice beyond "SORRY RYKELA" or "HURRY BACK" I'd love to hear it. I need something beyond that level at this point. I don't care what - if you want to yell, if you want to lecture, even sympathy! I don't care! Just none of this murry stuff. It's bad for me. I'm not going to roleplay sexually anymore. Don't ask me for it. Don't ask me for free art! I'll draw what I want, when I want. Now that I've said that I don't blame any of you if you're not willing to forgive me. I left you all behind so I guess it'd be fitting for me to get left behind.
I think I need to take a break from FA. I need to take a break from drawing furry art. Forget the adoptables. Forget any roleplays. If I owe you a drawing, I'm sorry. I don't think I can handle it right now. I just... I think I'll just try and focus on my schoolwork and my real life. I don't know if I can do it, but I have to try. Good luck, everyone, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, a million times I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do or say that can fix this...
I don't know when I'll be back. I don't know IF I'll be back. I love the fandom, but... it's an unhealthy obsession, plain and simple.
Take your time and heal.
Definitely take some time off of FA and other sights. Get to know what you're looking for, and possibly see a specialist. If they say it is just Internet addiction, don't believe them. Find a more root cause, though from the sound of it you've already got a sense of why you spend so much time on the Internet as it is.
Good luck to you, and may your problems be solved speedily.