Day Two: Nine things about yourself.


1. The only times I wear perfectly matching socks is when its my OTK socks. Its been about 5 years now since I started this habit. Yet I won't wear socks that aren't of the same length or don't have a visually appealing match up. I fold them together in these arrangements beforehand same as most people fold matching ones. 8D;

2. Wooden pencils drive me completely crazy. I can't stand having to resharpen them, the texture of them in my hand, and the way you can 'feel' and hear it scratch the paper if its not at the perfect points a;slkdjf. I know mechanical pencils do this too, but it just sounds and feels different to me. If all I have available is a wooden pencil I'll just wait to draw until a later time because its so uncomfortable to draw with.

3. I still sleep with a security blanket even though I'm 18 years old. :/ It's not the same one I've had since I was a kid, it's always kinda changed when one is too worn to use, but I have had this particular one for about 7 years now. While its not impossible for me to sleep without it, and other blankets of a similar material can help if I forget to bring it with me...I'm only able to sleep for a few hours at a time and don't feel very rested.

4. I still loved stuffed animals and keep them in my room, on my desk, some on my bed etc. Yet I'm really picky about their faces and texture when I pick out new ones to buy. I also still have stuffed animals from when I was a toddler, but I keep them packed away for safekeeping.

5. I've always been one of those kids who got A's in school really easily, and never had to form a real study habit. This hindered me during my first semester of college greatly though because while the classes aren't that difficult, I'm not used to having to actually set aside time to do my work to make sure I get it done.

6. I've been told by many that I have a good singing voice, and grew up as a choir kid and even performed my own solos. Yet as I got older instead of feeling more confident in my singing, I freeze up when asked to sing in front of others outside of a select few (and even then, I can't do it if they ask me to sing for them. It just happens because I really like the song and know I can sing along with it). I don't know where the sudden insecurity really came from either.

7. I'm so critical of my artwork anymore that it's the main reason I hardly ever post anything. I like that I've improved enough to see these flaws, but when I don't know how to execute the repairs I feel like deleting everything and giving up. (Don't worry, I never would, but you know what I mean.) I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to my confidence in things.

8. I'm really prone to holding grudges (more so unforgiving, because forgiving means giving them the chance to regain trust). I work hard to not hold things against people so much anymore, and let out my feelings in small doses. I'm especially unforgiving of people who break promises, and hate "reflex" promises used to comfort someone. Tell me you'll do your best, not that you promise if there's ANY chance of failure. Even my own parents follow this policy. I'm also very adept at using words to cut into people rather than just screaming and "freaking out" on them. My vindictive side takes pleasure in doing this when someone hurts me, because I know how much words can haunt people. I feel like a bad person sometimes because of this.

9. Whenever someone manages to hurt or upset me I'll actually be more upset over the fact they could cause me to feel that way. Even more so than whatever it was they actually did that was upsetting at, and it creates a vicious cycle inside of me. This usually leaves me in a personal depression for a few weeks to try and "re-stabilize" my inner world. Seeing as I have issues with releasing my anger to begin with, this doesn't help.