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Piling Up
15 years ago
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██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ Today I spent a really good amount of time doing some art work, taking breaks here and there watching some funny you tube videos.
But for some reason today I feel like crap. but surprisingly enough none of it was focused on being critical on my work. Allot of it was focused on earlier in the morning when I put in several applications online with hopes of getting a job. Though it felt like it was piling up into one big stress ball that made me feel worthless. (Not to worry folks I'm not going emo lol)
It was a productive day and I was doing the things needed to get done, but it just felt like I wasn't getting anywhere. Ya know..
The kind of feeling you get when your feet are glued to the floor, and there's a tall knife wielding psycho maniac doing a menacingly slow walk of death towards you........ ok maybe not that kind of feeling but it was overwhelming none the less.
I guess it's because I look at my life and who I am and I get disgusted. Because all I am at my core is a 28 year old guy, with no job, no car, never had his license, bad teethed (yes it's true my teeth are in need of a dentists touch), who lives with his parents, his fathers an over weight opinionated prick, with a sympathetic mother who only gets pissed off at the father the more hypocritical he becomes.
The only shining light in my life is my P.I.C. DejaSpyker we play games together, talk on skype and she makes me happy. I cling onto the plans I have for the future and do the best I can to attain those plans, I just wish I could at least begin to see some results of my hard work.
I figured I'd get this out there and off my chest because the knot in my stomach feels a bit less tighter.
But for some reason today I feel like crap. but surprisingly enough none of it was focused on being critical on my work. Allot of it was focused on earlier in the morning when I put in several applications online with hopes of getting a job. Though it felt like it was piling up into one big stress ball that made me feel worthless. (Not to worry folks I'm not going emo lol)
It was a productive day and I was doing the things needed to get done, but it just felt like I wasn't getting anywhere. Ya know..
The kind of feeling you get when your feet are glued to the floor, and there's a tall knife wielding psycho maniac doing a menacingly slow walk of death towards you........ ok maybe not that kind of feeling but it was overwhelming none the less.
I guess it's because I look at my life and who I am and I get disgusted. Because all I am at my core is a 28 year old guy, with no job, no car, never had his license, bad teethed (yes it's true my teeth are in need of a dentists touch), who lives with his parents, his fathers an over weight opinionated prick, with a sympathetic mother who only gets pissed off at the father the more hypocritical he becomes.
The only shining light in my life is my P.I.C. DejaSpyker we play games together, talk on skype and she makes me happy. I cling onto the plans I have for the future and do the best I can to attain those plans, I just wish I could at least begin to see some results of my hard work.
I figured I'd get this out there and off my chest because the knot in my stomach feels a bit less tighter.
lipidro
~lipidro
youll get there, man.
