Pipe splits in the basement. I'd just finished making myself something to eat in the kitchen and I hear a sputter and then the cliche' spray sound effect you associated with well..spraying water. Open the back door, push open the cellar door. A whisk of cold air hits my face. The entire basement is flooded. I already know it's a pipe or something. Sheela panics behind me and ventures off to make a journal about it. I strap on my tool belt. (Read: Put my shoes on and go down with a flashlight.)

After a climatic battle of me turning on and off various valves I finally find the one in question, red head gleaming in the cone of my flashlight, I reach out; fingers frozen to the bone and turn it harshly. The spray turns to a sputter, the sputter turns to a drip and then. Curtains.

I fucked that problem up.

I'm so good at this game called life.