there's no recipe for that, sadly

well im a really extrovert person, soo is easy to me to make friends, im start to talk and try to have a good time,

I don't.

Really, I just let potential friends come to me rather than actively seeking them out. There's maybe one or two people I consider friends IRL and maybe a small handful more on the internet, and in all cases it's someone who spoke to me first. Or, at the least, asked me to speak to them.

I dunno they just come to me.

People just find me for some reason and we become friends. Though that was in the past and now I feel people avoid me for new people and the friends I have now are leaving me or where are just growwing distant. Though yeah. I have to agree with Jengo. Though you just have to plant the seeds of friendship with someone new and see if it grows. It's like being out going and friendly to people. That's what I was and that's how I guess a lot of people came flocking to me.

First of all, I am sorry to hear of you feeling alone, it's something I too have felt a lot as of late. This is a very difficult thing, I actually have a very, very hard time with it myself. In fact, I am really looking for a REALLY good friend now IRL, and have had little luck as of yet XD

How I met one of my best online friend was partly chance, partly because we shared very similar interests. I always think it was a very beautiful accident in a way but also acknowledge that it was a friendship we both wanted and we worked hard at it.
Then that friendship also introduced me to ANOTHER friendship that's just as dear and precious.

So I suppose the best answer I can give is meeting people with similar interests, whether it be a fan club, book club or online. After that it's up to personalities and how well the two of you respond to each other.

I hope this helps some, and i know it's hard, but hopefully you'll find someone special or such a friend will come along ^^

people add me into msn, then everything flows XD

Well, it all depends on how well I can communicate with someone else online...like, when I start a convo on comments on FA.

If I like the person (which in most of the cases I do) I bring up the question about msn/aim and get to be internet buddies.

When it comes to IRL I just can't have good relationships because I hardly ever go out to a mall or something because of the busy home-life I have. But I'm okay with this for now...I'll be able to go out more often in the future and have stronger bonds with people.

Eh, I think I got a little bit out of context there but I guess you get the idea of how I go around...

I only have one friend who is pretty much all I need really, but in most cases people find me interesting cause they think i'm a jerk.

Now lets count the number of "LETS BE FRIENDS BEAU" comments.

What  Jengo said.

There's no universal answer that works for everyone, because everyone is different.

But the key point, I believe, is not to let the friendships that don't work stop you from trying.

Looking helps. Talking to people definitely does it's wonders, and gives you more opportunity, depending on what you do. But it's just a guideline. Ultimately, chance is the ruling factor. You need to find someone that enjoys your company for who you are and what you like above all else, or someone that can look past your faults without feeling they're sacrificing more than what they give. And vice versa.

A "perfect match" like that ain't easy to find, but I think it's out there for everyone if they keep at it long enough.

Sure, it's a bit idealistic. But optimism is your best bet, here. Give up, and there's no chance at all.

I met a lot of my friends through work or just striking up conversation with people who have the same interests as me. MMA events at sports bars, people who play poker at the casino, others out golfing, et cetera. A lot of the time it's when I'm already out doing some of that stuff with an existing friend. Sometimes not, especially not when it's golf or poker.

Conclusion: go out and be social in whatever you like to do. No one wants to be new friends with a quiet depressed person. That's what current friends are for.

I make friends easily, mostly by being outgoing like you. :) Just find someone, give 'em a good chatting to, and it's not hard to make friends!

I make them without knowing it. Normally I would just go up to someone and befriend them like a snap of the finger. I love to get to know others and I've actually helped alot of my friends open up more to other people. I have a good friend whom is always so grumpy but once he is around me, he is a different person. Thats how you do it though is be yourself and have fun. You have to! Its a strange thing but its so much fun!

Believe it or not, this helped me out quite a bit when I asked myself this question. Just read for 5 pages

I really liked this :3
Thanks for sharing

I just
go up
and talk to people.
Sit at a table with a couple people
and just
talk.
Amazingly useful.

When I meet new people that I like, I try to keep conversations to know more about them and if they want also can know things about me, thats the beggining when I want to make new friends. But friendship is something unintentionally and based in the luck of find somebody that could be a good friend of you.

If you find someone interesting, just jump right in. You gain nothing from doing nothing

I'm in the same boat as you sadly.. I'm a big extrovert and when I meet people, I can talk about random things and generally have a good time. Though... there are certain times where I feel very lonely, it's like I don't have very many GOOD friends that I would trust dearly.

I was alone for nothing. When before it's people lies. but I've believe my friends with bonds. For Only trust with personal make new friends. Believe it.

People will like and love you for being you. If you try to remake and put up a mask, all they will know it the mask you wear and it will tire you out. Just show people the real you and those who approach you will make sure you know they like you. Making friends isn't hard nor is it a science. It's just finding the people who want to be around you because...you're you.

punch them in the face and tell them that if they won't be your friend that you'll punch them again

I like being alone, so I don't try to make friends with anyone.
If they come to me, I just accept them as long as we have things in common to talk about.
Having friends is pretty useful sometimes, specially in school/college/work, but apart from that, idc.
Still haven't met a REAL friend though, but im not in a rush or anything, lol.
Do I sound bitter? o_ò XD

Well I find that joining something you are passionate in, or enjoy doing. You tend to find people that have the same interests with you. Like art for example, join a local art guild or club. Usually found at a college or art supply store, you can ask there. Finding a base common interest is key. OwO I would hang out with ya, if you were in Ontario Canada.

I sympathize. I spent a lot of time alone in the past. It's difficult to make friends because as everyone has already said, not every method works for everyone. However my advice is just to present yourself in public places. Listen carefully to conversations. You might hear people talking about something you share an interest in. Join in. You never know. Online works too but don't rely on it solely.

Friends... they just happen.

I'm rather shy and enclosed, then again, people seems to approach me.
I just try to be nice to everyone, there's no real recipe or secret to friendships, so I guess it just happens.

There's no recipe, as said before.

You just have to be yourself, I guess. That's how I got mine.

sit down and drink tea
stand up
throw the teapot to their head
and said it was an accident easy eh?

I make them unintentionally. I make a comment on a picture, somebody responds, and we end up talking. That's how I made friends with  yutari

I'm sorry to hear you were alone Bo. It's hard to live with the fact that even though we may have lots of friends, we may still feel alone sometimes...

To me, just asking "Hey, can we be friends?" can start friendships. I'm introverted sadly, so I really only have a few good friends... But I try to strengthen my connections by making my friends happy and asking them how they are doing occasionally.

Also, there's a song called "Bein' Friends" that I think really explains what friends are about..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyxtKzhc00c

The song may be old but the lyrics stands out a lot.

I usually end up making friends unintentionally.. it's hard for me to actually make a friend.. but there may not be a specific formula on how to, sadly.

You should be nice n' polite and try to find something you have in common with other people.

Be expressive, show curiosity (ask questions), -share- your interests, don't be too quiet, smile, and make eye contact more than your comfortable with. Everything meaningful in life more than often simply demands that you go beyond your comfort zone to discover, learn, and experience more.

Have a thoughtful response to something someones talking about when you find a moment you can even slightly relate, might have to be careful and let the person finish what hes saying in regards to what hes talking about, for some odd reason it doesn't always work and -can- make them believe your disinterested, simply because you said what you think of what he said, kinda sucks I know it works for some though! Either way, making your efforts make you the better man. Don't think once that your lacking something, the guy/gal just can't function according to you mechanics, shy, or is an asshole. Most cases it's just cannot function, as in either being deprived or just don't know what to say kind of deal. I do my best to have an input no matter what topic it is, even if it makes me look stupid, I often wonder if it makes me look like a tool though. With all that said, this is merely suggestions to show who you are more and discover more of yourself instead of hiding and depriving yourself. Its okay to flow into random topics, that means your getting along...usually. There is no real answer on how to make a friend, but there sure is an answer to showing that you've got what it takes to be 'social', friendly, and happy. People like to see happy people and it can be offensive to be shy at times, its natural and naturally draws people to em, whether the guy/gal is a douche bag or cocky cunt or not lol just gotta show that smile and laughter. Be happy and show your appreciation no matter how little it might be, that is probably the number one rule!

It's not hard to make friends, but it's hard to make the right friends. Have standards, have your back straight, and be an awesome gentleman. The thing is, you are who you hang out with and if anyone goes out of their way to make you feel used or abused, then don't hesitate to have second thoughts. The thumb rule there is, "What you see is what you get." I personally see plenty of things, I don't let it make me feel, say, or make negative thoughts, I just let it measure who is worthy of my time and who isn't. Most cases people will make -you- not worthy of their time, simply because that's how the internet works and sometimes IRL people will be that way. It's only a bunch of digital autism you shouldn't pay attention to. Not everyone cares and functions accordingly and genuinely, it's not hard to notice either.

I'd personally like to be a friend, I don't have many artistic friends to relate and speak to with art talk. Us artsy people are busy people.

I dunno it just sorta... happens. One day you talk to someone you've never talked to before. You see them again a couple days later and talk again. Then somehow you end up alone and start talking more, then you start hanging out regularly, and bam new friend.

Before I moved to Australia, all I had to do was go to a cafe and hang out for a while. Eventually someone would come talk to me and I ended up with more friends than I knew what to do with. Since moving to Australia, though, I have not made one real friend. I wish I could, but more often than not, I come home with wounds because what I'm wearing, reading, drawing, doing, whatever it is, somehow it offends someone. Maybe it's where I live, but everyone here that I've met is a two faced barbarian and it's impossible to make any friends.

Truthfully, I've never made a friend. I've made acquaintances, and then, with luck, soon you just realize "hey, me and X -are- friends". But really beyond the initial few contacts, it's just been nature whether it happens or not.

I have no clue. I haven't made a friend myself they just happen to come my way. I'm too introverted to try and have a rather bad case of social anxiety to add to it. Sadly there are a lot of people I want to be friends with but I just can't summon up the courage.

Talking with people is the most easy way , both on internet , or better , in RL
You just have to be yourself while talking and in no time you'll see that you created a nice bond

Time ago i added a guy from FA on msn , we didn't talked a lot , actually , he barely answered me ^_^''
But , slowly , talking a bit everytime , we started to chat more and now we talk almost everyday and is really a nice friend ^^

Well.... I dont know really I just talk sometimes or just go with the flow

I feel your pain Bo ;A;
Being alone isn't fun at all, heck, it can even hurt at times but it's not impossible to overcome.
As everyone before me has said, there is no one way to make friends nor one certain place.
Friends can be found if you look for them AND unintentionally. It's just a matter of finding which works best for you C:

For me, every online friend I have I've met unintentionally. From meeting on Livestream to finding out we have a lot in common through a comment-inspired conversation and even from a simple note asking if I was okay. You never really know. There are some who say friends online don't count but I believe they do. Yes, there are some things you can't do or have with them but they are still can help and talk with you. They just happen to be in a different place is all.

As for in person friends....those are a bit tricky to be honest. Online we don't have to worry about how we look like (mostly) nor where we are but there is so much that can hinder you when you are face to face. I'm still trying to figure out this one myself. I'm sure that these can happen unintentionally as well but you have to believe that it can first. Having a bit of faith can help because you will be more aware if a chance to meet someone new comes along
Also, it is hard to make friends in person because a lot of the time there is also some kind of fear holds us back. Some are afraid to embarrass themselves. Some are afraid that things won't work out. Some are just afraid to take that chance. My fear is that I would come off as annoying or such to others. If you let that fear consume you then things won't work for you and that's not fun :C The best way to conquer it I think is to have a bit of courage and faith. Faith in yourself and that things will happen and turn out alright, even if you do mess up now and again (we are human no?)

I believe that if you take a bit of that courage, self confidence, faith and always are yourself (even if you think it's not good at times) then things will work out for you, one way or another~
As someone once said, you've got "take chances, make mistakes, and get messy" :3


*Also, something you could try is that next time you are next to someone, whether on the bus, in an elevator, or even at the store, try to find something to talk to, or simply comment to them about. It can be what they are wearing, what they are reading or even something about where you are. Saying hello and simply asking how someone is a good way to go too.
You never know who you will meet by doing small things like that. Heck, you might even meet someone special! :D

Lots of Luck, Love and hugs to you Bo! I know you can do it and that you'll make it through!
(And I'll be your friend, even if only online! X3)

I took this from a book how to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie. Gonna try sharing with you a few things I used, I guess.

It's all simple stuff though.

A few tips (There's more in the book but these are general concepts that I took, I think.)
> Be interested in the other person. Ask questions to encourage them to talk more. That way they will feel more intact with you.
> Remember the names. First name would be best.
> Appreciate others. There's no better praise than a thank to the other person. In anything, though.
> Be a good listener. Just like the first one.
> Do everything above with your heart. If you lie about it even with your feelings, the other person will know for sure.

The main thing is to consider about the other person. That way he/she will feel that you are understanding and more likely to be friends with than being with others.

That's just, what's been my recipe for the whole time.

idk.....im really a quite guy, but i feel ur pain.

I guess I just talk with them. I have trouble coming up with topics to talk about, so I try to put effort into chatting them up. But even with that, there's no real guarantee we'd end up friends. I guess friendship just happens on its own, IMO

unintentionally...it sort of happens usually...occasionally I make them, but its hit or miss

Just be open minded and talk that's all

you have to keep giving them free art all the time

Being extrovert, open and natural it's the easiest way.

Forget about shyness.

I'm honestly the exact same way as you.

Happy go lucky and social as hell, but time to actually hang out or being invited with other parties almost never seems to happen sadly.

beer and wargaming :)

At first I'm all like frigid and cold,the kind of goy that drives anyone away, but after a while I relax and sorta look at who might be a nice person to talk to.

I remember that at my first class at the university I was all like "don't you dare talking to me or I'll eat ya!" but then I took a valuable chance: the teacher was asking for a team to expose a theme, so I raised my hand and got into the team of these strange people.
LUcky for me they were all really open and we all had a nice laugh the first day, I pushed them around with the exposition which ended up being a boring and fucking mess XD lol

In the end I simply tried to make them laugh, let them see my funny side, sometimes let them know the things I didn't liked and the faults I had (like being grumpy, strict, pride, etc.) so they would choose to hang or not around with me anymore.

I believe you just have to take all the chances that come up whenever you can, no matter how silly they are.

Now, you say you have an extrovert way of speaking, some people do have a problem with that kind of people because, well, they simply grow tired. It sounds coarse but I remember that a friend of mine was simply casted out of the friend-group just because she repeated everything you said, like if you said "I want mash-potatoes" she said "I want mash potatoes too!"
Anyway, they grew tired of her being like a "Me too!" speaker, not to mention she used to be such a lazy student that always placed pretexts to justify her failed subjects.

I won't lie to you, sometimes I grow tired too, but everyone deserves a chance and I like to be her friend. So if someone starts to really say or do coarse things about the way you are just back off and ignore them, don't let your personality act as a lock to yourself, we all have goods and flaws, people who grow fond of you will always like you, no matter how bitchy (in my case) or silly you are at some things.

I hope this helps sometimes I speak too much sorry =P
just remember: TAKE ANY CHANCE! it's always good to try =3

quite frankly i just end up acting like a goof ball, in front of people when i go into my own little world
so then they laugh then i laugh and we just get to know each other better then presto friend mission accomplished

I wait til they come to me
which usually doesn't work out

sorry to hear that..

mmhh, I just have the iniciative to talk with someone else, and try to make a conversation with thay person, and then, it just happen

really sorry to hear that *hugs

I don't think I can answer this as well as Charkonian can. Besides, I agree with him. You can't let friendships that go to hell stop you from trying again, whether it's to repair that friendship or move on to someone else. And if you want...even though we likely will never meet out in the open instead of online, I can try to be a friend.

To be perfectly honest with you...as far as in person instead of over the internet, I haven't really had that much luck myself, even though it seems like such a simple problem to solve. It can be complicated. It might help to walk with open hands, though, if you really want my opinion. Whoever's hand you take might belong to a new person you can trust.

I make them unitentionally.

I tend to be way too intimate/informal immediately. Makes things awkward with officials, but it's a great "jerk detector". I don't usually meet people that I have anything in common with, and the vast majority of people my own age are shallow, ignorant and selfish -- so I don't really have many people I'd consider friends. People I know and work with, mostly.

I'm sure I'm not a delight all the time myself, but I don't think it's too much to ask of people that they not tell me all about how my taste in music/books/games/whatever sucks and that I'm politically wrong or what they think about sexuality... People always think they're right, and they want to tell you. And I want them to just shut the fuck up -- and I tend to just say what I'm thinking, so that strains things, too, I'm sure.

Lol everything, I make them without knowing it, and I make them when i wanna know the person. It's easiest to make friends with someone if you have to see them everyday (work, school, club/bar). Just look for an opportunity to find a subject to connect yourselves. Wait for them to say something that interests you and build on that.

Yea im kinda shy myself. I have been building up old relationships :3 Now I think they're my best friends!
But my friends and I just walk around. Before I joined them hanging out, I think they did the same.

So try building up old friendships maybe, and do what they like to do. I have no clue how else to do it im still in high school XD
But I aint got a BF either so I know yer pain there too .__. (Its really annoying in a Utah school too)

the truth is when i make freinds i can observe their minds cause i can tell who's the asshole and who's not when i was little i saw some guy who wanted to be freinds with me but i realized that he was just lying to me when he brought his other freinds and they said alot of shit critizisim of how i act with them also they were bothering.harrassing and beating me up but still i knew that was gonna happen since i was the outcast in elementary school and after that happened all i did was to face the shit of what they did to me and right now its still repeats but this time im strong and ill bear with it no matter what

If you find out, will you share with me? I'd love to know how it works these days.

mostly intentionally. May be by basic I'm not extrovert. If people want to talk with me, I'll try my best to answer them. But if nobody asked me, I'll be quiet and ...things just go as usual.

I dunno if "Making friend" is a good idea if you're eager about it. I have tried it once when in my first college year, and end up eventully i abandon my friend's number and to some point, they got irritated by my behavior. So, I guess I got wiser and don't make a "Make a friend" policy. Guess being passive is okay as long as you're not too introvert about it.

Sorry, i mean "UNintentionally"

Fenrirwolfen (above) gave exactly the advice and source I was going to put forth.

Boiled down to one rule of thumb to remember when seeking to find friends is that “EVERY PERSON YOU MEET WANTS TO FEEL IMPORTANT”. And by “important” I mean of value. Generally, most people seek to get that feeling of importance or value through what they are interested in. So if you honestly take an interest in the other person because of what he or she is interested in, then you are making them feel important and consequently you become important to them -- which is the beginning of a friendship.

It is a whole lot easier to be honestly interested in what someone else has to say when they are talking about what you are already interested in. That’s why you can search out places or groups that are connected by interests in what you are already interested in. BUT, do not be afraid to open your mind up to what other people are interested in that you currently know nothing about.

The biggest block to forming a friendships is ignoring or turning away from everything that you are already interested in at this moment. Being a friend is a statement of growing. Of being open to what the other person is interested in and what you might add of it to yourself.

Remember #1, to be viewed as an interesting person, you have to be open to new thoughts and new ideas. The first step in becoming that interesting person is to ask questions of other people who know more than you do. Even reading a book or going on-line to do a little Google research about what the other person is interested in will give you material to ask good honest questions the next time you meet.

Remember #2, making a friend requires being interested in the other person.

to make friends only talk aboiut things you and him/her like it
usually always is in a open place and thats all

maybe you can be start with a park or a cafe

and yeah in short minded for make solutions

Heh, every time somebody asks this question, there is always the same reply to just go out there and talk with (random) people. Sure, it probably works for most people but for an introverted character like me, it's never that easy. How about for people who don't know how to reach out, huh? God knows that I have tried, but I'm not much of a movie person nor do I prefer to be in a crowd (i.e. social places like bars, clubs, etc.). Also, there is a small part of my mind that says things might be easier if I was white just like everybody else, but in all honesty, I don't care what other people think about me. I just keep on going down my path of life.

I'm sorry, bud. I can't provide any answers for you because I'm still looking for my guiding light as well. At the very least, I'm glad I have at least three people that I consider true friends irl. The guys I have on my MSN I consider to be friends as well and I plan to visit them someday, but not all at once. My only advice I can offer you is that life is rough, life is hard but we have to keep on going. You never know what lies beyond the next horizon so keep the light of hope in your heart.

~Ukyotane