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FFFFFFFFFFFFFFuck.
14 years ago
So anyway, I got a year-end evaluation at work, finally.
It was not good. At some point, I became a terrible, terrible employee. Not sure how it happened, but I've been getting complaints all year about my attitude problem and how I'm not doing my part.
I have a lot of excuses, but none are really any good because nobody else is having the same problems. Clearly, it's me. I knew I was not at the top of my game this past year, but I didn't realize how BAD I'd gotten.
I'm trying to be positive, and trying to think about my clean slate and how 2011 is going to be very, very different, but I'm just so humiliated. I'll never stop feeling awful about this.
This job is making me miserable. It's actually a pretty good job, and it worked for a long, long time, but I'm miserable now. I feel bad complaining about it, but it's not what I'm meant for. This probably explains the decline in the quality of my work, but it's really bad because I might have jeopardized my chances of moving on to bigger and better things.
Anyway, these are just the thoughts that go through my mind as I'm applying for five jobs per day. Who on Earth would want me now? Bleh.
It was not good. At some point, I became a terrible, terrible employee. Not sure how it happened, but I've been getting complaints all year about my attitude problem and how I'm not doing my part.
I have a lot of excuses, but none are really any good because nobody else is having the same problems. Clearly, it's me. I knew I was not at the top of my game this past year, but I didn't realize how BAD I'd gotten.
I'm trying to be positive, and trying to think about my clean slate and how 2011 is going to be very, very different, but I'm just so humiliated. I'll never stop feeling awful about this.
This job is making me miserable. It's actually a pretty good job, and it worked for a long, long time, but I'm miserable now. I feel bad complaining about it, but it's not what I'm meant for. This probably explains the decline in the quality of my work, but it's really bad because I might have jeopardized my chances of moving on to bigger and better things.
Anyway, these are just the thoughts that go through my mind as I'm applying for five jobs per day. Who on Earth would want me now? Bleh.
At any rate, it's really not the end of the world; everyone has bad spells, and as long as you have at least one person there willing to give a good reference, any new jobs don't need to know about it. My last job, there wasn't a single person in management who would have given me a positive review but I still got a new one. Even then, just try to keep yourself up until you find something else. *hugs*
And I hope you're right. These guys have been with me for years, they know I can do good and yeah, I think "bad spell" describes 2010 pretty well.
*hugs back*