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If you consider yourself a friend of mine, Read This
15 years ago
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ASK ME STUFF!!! http://formspring.me/shalepanther
One day Soon, I will Dissappear.
If you feel that statement is too melodramatic, then feel free to stop reading. Or skip down to the "tl;dr" version
But, seriously Someday within the next year, I will bid adieu to the Shale fursona. Where am I going next, I don't know. I always get a bunch of silly hippy answers when it comes to choosing a fursona, but.. There is a right answer and a wrong answer.This fandom is Fucked up in so many ways, and Discrimination is a big one.
Now when I relate this to "Raceism" I get a bunch of replies saying "OMG!!! IT'S NOT THE SAME!" then let me ask you this. WIthin the last few months, I've been told by one person that I would not be invited to a party because I wasn't a certain "species" ie. Dolphin/orca/otter.. Earliier tonight I was told that a person i might have been interested in was only interested in relationships and sex with foxes. Those statements are acceptable. WHy?
Would you be fine with someone telling you that you wern't invited to a party because you were gay? Someone you liked said they wouldn't want a relationship with you because you were black? Now in silliness, this is.. accepted, but these people were 100% serious. And there are other things too, more subtle actions.
So What do I mean by "Wrong answer" Well, I give this example. I mentioned on the twitter that i wanted to change my fursona. I got many response on how I should pick what is most true for me.. or some crap like that.. but one person in particular who said this, then goes on to.. well just gush over every otter on twitter, and alos replies to me how he prefers wolves and such. So I said that, i'd make his suggestion for my new fursona to be a wolf. And this is the way many furs act, admitedly myself too. But, I also realize that under those furry pictures there is just another person.
Now, I know I will go and add other panthers, just because they are panthers.. but the truth is, I almost feel forced into it. There is not very often people who enjoy panthers, So after hearing all day how great wolves, foxes, otters, horses, huskys, and dragons are.. I feel SOMEONE should show us some love.
Now, by the way, before you people start thinking I'm all butthurt over not being able to get in someon's pants or not being invited to a party.. I'd like to point out 1) I wasn't even within 500 miles physically of said party, and 2) I'm not like that, nor am I that desperate to get laid.
TL;DR Version
So in the end that leaves me two choices. Either fight back against the system, or play the game. SoI'm phasing out Shale... It will either be perminant, as in I leave the fandom, or I will take a new fursona. As much as I love to be an activist and try and change the fandom for the better, I am only one person, and I like making friends much more. So I'll be an activist by being transparent. Before You akk try to tell me what I should do and make the choice of me making a choice to not make a choice and be the same thing.. realize that what I chose will be MY choice.
Oh I forgot to add the most important part. The reason I say I'll dissappear, is because I know that I will still be seen as Shale, no matter what fursona I switch to. So. It will be a clean cut off and break, including changing all my name, and contact info. And I won't make it public who or what I switch to. The only people I will tell are those who are truly close friends. For everyone else.. Realize I won't always be here... This will be your chance to show me what kind of friend you are.
If you feel that statement is too melodramatic, then feel free to stop reading. Or skip down to the "tl;dr" version
But, seriously Someday within the next year, I will bid adieu to the Shale fursona. Where am I going next, I don't know. I always get a bunch of silly hippy answers when it comes to choosing a fursona, but.. There is a right answer and a wrong answer.This fandom is Fucked up in so many ways, and Discrimination is a big one.
Now when I relate this to "Raceism" I get a bunch of replies saying "OMG!!! IT'S NOT THE SAME!" then let me ask you this. WIthin the last few months, I've been told by one person that I would not be invited to a party because I wasn't a certain "species" ie. Dolphin/orca/otter.. Earliier tonight I was told that a person i might have been interested in was only interested in relationships and sex with foxes. Those statements are acceptable. WHy?
Would you be fine with someone telling you that you wern't invited to a party because you were gay? Someone you liked said they wouldn't want a relationship with you because you were black? Now in silliness, this is.. accepted, but these people were 100% serious. And there are other things too, more subtle actions.
So What do I mean by "Wrong answer" Well, I give this example. I mentioned on the twitter that i wanted to change my fursona. I got many response on how I should pick what is most true for me.. or some crap like that.. but one person in particular who said this, then goes on to.. well just gush over every otter on twitter, and alos replies to me how he prefers wolves and such. So I said that, i'd make his suggestion for my new fursona to be a wolf. And this is the way many furs act, admitedly myself too. But, I also realize that under those furry pictures there is just another person.
Now, I know I will go and add other panthers, just because they are panthers.. but the truth is, I almost feel forced into it. There is not very often people who enjoy panthers, So after hearing all day how great wolves, foxes, otters, horses, huskys, and dragons are.. I feel SOMEONE should show us some love.
Now, by the way, before you people start thinking I'm all butthurt over not being able to get in someon's pants or not being invited to a party.. I'd like to point out 1) I wasn't even within 500 miles physically of said party, and 2) I'm not like that, nor am I that desperate to get laid.
TL;DR Version
So in the end that leaves me two choices. Either fight back against the system, or play the game. SoI'm phasing out Shale... It will either be perminant, as in I leave the fandom, or I will take a new fursona. As much as I love to be an activist and try and change the fandom for the better, I am only one person, and I like making friends much more. So I'll be an activist by being transparent. Before You akk try to tell me what I should do and make the choice of me making a choice to not make a choice and be the same thing.. realize that what I chose will be MY choice.
Oh I forgot to add the most important part. The reason I say I'll dissappear, is because I know that I will still be seen as Shale, no matter what fursona I switch to. So. It will be a clean cut off and break, including changing all my name, and contact info. And I won't make it public who or what I switch to. The only people I will tell are those who are truly close friends. For everyone else.. Realize I won't always be here... This will be your chance to show me what kind of friend you are.
Join the Egyptian party @ 
egyptianfurs
egyptianfurs
It's the principal of the action that offends me. In the situation of a Femme Fur party, I don't know... Assuming it's Females only, And their reason is they just don't like guys and not that they do it so they don't have to deal with getting hit on the entire party... Then maybe.
The same thing works for species, Hell.. I barely know a single skunk out there. I know Quasi and sorta know Wild. If someone were to hold a skunk party I wouldnt go there thinking -- yeah, fuck those panthers. It would be an interesting opportunity to meet other people who have *some* affinity with me -- granted they could be for utterly different reasons.... ya know. spiritual vs likes to jack off to skunks or something.
Hrm - reading that other person's comment I'm wondering if this spins off from some sorta TSing thing -- in which case I'm out of the conversation. I can see people being assholes for what species you are in that situation and I don't do that at all for my own reasons.
Ungulates in the furry Fandom make up perhaps 5% or less of the total population. The trifecta of Carnivores; Canid, Feline & Vulpine, make up about 85% or more. Its my goal to switch those numbers, where Ungulates are on top, as they should be. In reality, Ungulates are the 6th largest mammilian Order, just slightly larger then the Carnivora Order. I'd really like to see that happen in the Fandom as well.
So in conclusion, there are Order or Species divisions in the Fandom. You just gotta deal with it. Will I ever lose sleep for not being invited to a Vulpine party? Absolutely not, who would want to go to a party that doesn't have a good number of Hoofers attending anyway? (V) (V)
I've even recently (like last week) politiced and had the rules officially changed in a major Furry Fandom Forum (Furtopia) just so I can be a little more aggressive in the Ungulate Rebellion I've started there.
So the question would be, could you deal with being friends with someone like that? I welcome species not of the hoof to be with me so they can hear my rhetoric and perhaps plant the seed for themselves to one day wake up and discover they should have hooves too.
Besides..
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1438559/
You know O.o I actruly strive on makeing friends of every species.. I find that each one chooses there fursona best related to there personality and its quite true that many would act like there fursonas. I enjoy everyone for everyone has some reason special why they chose their fursonas...
If they can't see that, then why bother trying to prove your worth to someone who rather stay in the dark?
go about this logically shale. mute/flip off the dicks, chat/hangout with the awesome people, be your handsome panthery self and life goes on. how is that so hard? i dont understand why all these people are quitting the fandom or making a new life when all it takes its a little effort to make a difference in the one you have. i expected you, someone i was able to call master, to be wise enough to see this.
No matter. In the end it's still my choice, and.. Many people are actually contridicting themselves. Telling me I should not listen and do what other people want, and stay a panther, instead of doing what *I* want.
As for the life changing bit. Seriously... You should probabbly talk to me privately on a messenger to discuss this.
I see species preference moreso as personality type. Depending on what you believe in (I go spiritual route/souls of our fursonas etc.), I see stereotypes and common traits within many species. Most typical thing one would think of is that foxes tend to be rather easy.
One I've kind of seen is that dragons like to brood. Its in our nature.
Anyways, if you want to change, more power to you. No one is stopping you. If you want to be a panther, awesome. If you want to be a Vampiric Were-Jaguar Half-Demon Angelic Wolf Taur, also awesome. If you want to be the guy, good luck.
Bouncy, energetic and slutty, that can describe a fox, a husky, skunk, otter, puppy, bunny, dragon... domestic cat
Brooding can describe a dragon, cat, wolf, lion,
What messes that up too, is that I know tons of Foxes who don't live up to that personality type. And hate that it's assumed that they are submissive sluts.
People's peronalitites should be them. Not based on something as simple as an animal. It's one of the reasons I don't have alignments in my RPGs.
I think some screws are loose with those furries.
As for the party, I can somewhat understand a party being a theme, but excluding people altogether is a step too far.
Don't change yourself because of other people being dicks to you, Shale. Your fursona is beautiful, handsome and creatively designed. Conforming to get people to like you will make any given person broken from the inside eventually.
*Big wet surfer otter hugs.*
As for the fandom, please remember the high number of introverts that creep around here, and respond accordingly.
Well, it'll really suck if you do disappear as Shale, I really like the character myself, and I really don't know why other people wouldn't.
Your chosen species does not affect your personality, and while I like to think the opposite to be true (your chosen species reflects you) it often is not either.
You could be Shale, the 12 foot tall, multiple tentacled, gelatinous goo monster for all I care (although good luck with that fur suit)...
That does not at all change the person I consider to be a friend of mine.
The species is a Shell, don't think for a moment that I would ever change. And what you said right there is the reason why I want to try something new. It changes the start of the conversation.
Who knows, It may just backfire on me. But no worries, you'll be kept up on whatever I do.
It doesn't really affect me what species you choose to be. Unless you choose to be some kind of bird. Then you're totally on my A list. </douche>
And You know you meant that.. And just for you babe, my new species is an anthro Swallow..
mmmm swallow.
But I guess I'm lucky in that I have many preferences. And also that the real people matter to me before their fursona species.. I honestly tend to not like dragons. Why? Because most of the worst people i've met in the fandom have identified as dragons. But then it makes me a bit of a hypocrite.. cause I'll befriend someone anyway.
Finally, Foxes are pretty awesome, but I can guarantee you my new fursona won't be a fox.
I like that though, putting Fursona aside & getting to know the person...I'm the same way. I don't mind what someone is, it's who they are that counts. What their Fursona is & what they look like is just a bonus for me. Of course I'm very open minded about looks. I'm sorry to hear about your bad run-in with Dragons.
Foxes are kewl, I just never liked how they're portrayed in the fandom...even though most of the foxes I knew were quite like the stereotype.
As for racism... I don't think you're right there. There's a big difference between sexual preferences and racism. For example, horses turn me on more than dogs do... does that make me prejudiced? No more than a gay man is prejudiced against women. We're all turned on by different things. Some people are turned on by the idea of having interracial sex. Some aren't. Does that make them prejudiced? Of course not. It just means they're not sexually attracted to people of a particular race. If there's something wrong with that, then you have to accept that there's something wrong with any type of sexual preference. You can't prefer big boobs because that means you're prejudiced against girls with small boobs. You can't prefer tall people, or beautiful people, or be gay, because that's prejudiced against short people, ugly people, or members of the opposite gender. In fact... you can't have a furry fetish because that's prejudiced against real people.
I can kinda see the same applying to species-based parties too. If you did go, would the people at the party want you to be there, or would you be a wet blanket? That is... if its an orca-only party, I assume that part of the appeal of it is to meet other orcas and discuss being an orca and why. That appeal is lost if there's a bunch of non-orcas at the party. What if I invited you to a Vorephile party? Would you be able to contribute to it, or would you detract from it, when everyone is standing around discussing why they find eating furs or being eaten is appealing to them?
I really think you're being too sensitive about this.
As far as sexual prefrence.. Yeah, that's a touchy place with a lot of grey areas. Problem is, that 90% of furs base the value of a friend on how much they want to have sex with them. Yeah i know some of your prefrences. But.. then I also know that when I met you your mate wasn't a horse.. So clearly furry species isn't a pre-req for getting close to you. Secondly, you have let me be a friend.. So again, while you have prefrence.. I have seen enough to feel that you're not like that. And yes... People are shallow. You know from conversations in the past, i know this... I still don't consider it a "good" quality.
But then technically, i'm a bad person, cause I made the horsie version of Shale because of you. While not for you, it was inspired by.
Also... its not standard practice to invite people to room parties. For the most part, you just show up. If you're expecting an engraved and notarized invitation to each one, I've got news for you - that's not how they normally work. Usually people are too busy actually setting up the party to go around and invite people all the people who they want there. Usually they just tell a few people, who tell a few more, who tell a few more etc.
When you met me, I didn't have a mate. I was close to someone, but I don't let other people claim me. Honestly that *was* a bit of a fluke though. I usually do go for certain species only, because, when I'm in a dark room with them, I often imagine us as our fursonas. I find that very stimulating, and so it follows that someone with a fursona that I find sexy is even more stimulating.
Well - I'm glad you have a horsie version of Shale, as shallow as that is.
As for the Vorephile party, perhaps that's not hardcore enough. It was just an example. Lets say someone invited you to a babyfur party where grown adults were pooping in their diapers and being changed by other grown adults. If you went, wouldn't you be a detriment to that party? I know I would be. *gag*
People tell me a lot that they would love to be with me or f*** me if I were a guy. I'm an FtM trans, and I find that extremely hurtful. So I guess I can kind of relate in a weird way. I'm sorry you've been put into such a strange social corner and that this feels like the best course of action, it really is outrageous if you remove yourself from the situation and look at what's going on.
Having said that, do what you must and i wish you the best.